#being loved by choice is only meant for me in dreams
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Your Color
Ruby:Yang, can I be honest with you?
Yang:Can you? I assumed you always were, then you had a tea party.
Ruby:âŠ
Yang:Whatâs wrong buttercup?
Ruby:I think I wanna dye my hair.
Yang:Oh, okay. Whyâd you make it sound so serious?
Ruby:Because Iâd look less like mom.
Yang:Youâll still have her heart.
Ruby:Thatâs the thing. I..donât think I do, or want to. I love mom, but lately itâs been hard to look in the mirror. I chose to keep being me after we fell. YetâŠlately Iâve felt like Iâve really been chasing her. Itâs hard to explain.
Yang:Ruby, did you forget who youâre talking to? Take it from someone whoâs literally chased their mom and made certain choices because of it, I get it. Do youâŠregret being a Huntress?
Ruby:No. Iâve wanted this since before I could walk. Maybe after when mom d- when she left, a part of me clung to it. At this point I remember her dreams more than her face.
Yang:Ruby-
Ruby:Itâs the truth. HeheâŠI donât think I would want to change anything about mom, but I do wish if all of this had to happen, then a few more years wouldâve been nice. IâŠI only remember so much. You, dad, and Qrow, you see her in me. I envy that a little.
Yang:Sorry. I didnât know thatâs how you felt.
Ruby:Itâs okay. I didnât know thatâs how I felt either. Itâs been nice learning about mom, but I think itâs time for some kind of distance. After all, Iâll always have her eyes.
Yang:Not just that. Finding yourself, itâll make you happier than ever. That joy, the smile it will bring, itâll shine just as bright as hers. Dad told me something once. The more Iâm myself, the more Iâm the best parts of my mom. I used to think he just meant we were similar. Now Iâm sure what he meant was Raven was always true herself, so the best thing I could do is be true to myself.
Ruby:I like that. Sounds like a dad lesson. To be myself. Hehe, I never thought that would sound so hard. Iâll do it though. Not to chase or embody anything. But because I owe it to myself. To Ruby Rose.
Yang:Sheâs a pretty cool girl, and a great sister. *ruffles hair* So, what color?
Ruby:Good question. Iâll get back to you on that.
Yang:Well whatever it is, Iâm sure itâll be good on you.
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Woke up and just started fucking bawling bc it meant I wasn't married.
#he was so nice to me#he always wanted to hold my hand#he looked at me with so much love that So This Is Love started playing in the background#then i woke up#and realised ill never feel that irl bc no one will ever love me like that no matter how badly i want it to happen#im meant to be all alone#being loved by choice is only meant for me in dreams#it makes me so fucking sad#i hate dreams like that#to get a taste of something so wonderful just to have it ripped away by reality is cruel
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I'm not asking you to choose me. I'm not begging you to see me for who I am and love me for it..even like me for it. I'm okay not being someone you love. All I ask, is once you've made that choice, I hope, for your sake, you have the strength to live with it.
Because gods know I will.
#what living with parental figures who choose someone else over you feels like#when i was younger i would die for their validation#i sacrificed my youth to fulfill their perfect daughter dream only to realise i could never be the ideal#that nothing i do would ever be enough and that someone else would get chosen over me over and over again#and now i mourn my youth and not the love i failed to secure#and they can live with their choice#a family without me being a part of it#and i will hold my grudge for little mes sake until the day i die#you will never know my life#dark academic aesthetic#dark academia quotes#dark academia#writers on tumblr#dark academism#dark academia blog#chaotic academia#my own#turned into a mini rant wasnt meant to be one though ugh#why do people like this even procreate
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Symbiosis
I missed Eddie x reader with silly Venom being in the way. Can't wait to see what they'll do in the next movie.
From the beginning of their relationship, Y/N had noticed that there was something different with Eddie.
She might have thought that it was because he was somewhat famous that he behaved eccentrically, sometimes talking to himself and seeming very agitated for no reason.
Without ever really bringing up these oddities, Eddie had been very honest with her about a lot of things. His childhood, his dreams, his ex-girlfriend, the loss of his job before becoming a journalism star again, his little problems with cleanliness.
"I mean, I'm a very clean person⊠Normally. All the time ! I wash twice a day, I take care of my teeth, I don't like living in filth but... Sometimes I'm not at home for a long time, and I'm totally focused on my job, and the stress⊠So, if I can seem a little dirty and messy, I'm sorry, I will never ask you to clean up for me and you can tell me that I stink by patting me on the back of the head. Yes, on the back of the head, I deserve it." Eddie muttered at the end of his sentence, looking to the side as if he were talking to someone else.
"I don't think you're dirty. You sweat a little sometimes, but that's natural."
âYouâre saying that because you havenât seen my apartment yet.â
âDoes that mean you want to invite me to your apartment ?â Y/N asked, smiling shyly.
"Of course ! No, you don't⊠Of course, Y/N, I've been wanting to for a long time."
The presence of chickens was a little surprising, and it was true that the apartment was not in very good condition, but it was a bit like her idea of a bachelor pad, and it was quite reassuring to think that Eddie didn't often bring women home.
It meant something important to him, a sign of trust.
But that certainly wasn't the greatest evidence. No, this evidence took a little longer to emerge from the shadows, or from Eddie's shoulder, after a month of relationship.
Precisely the day he couldn't hold back the first "I love you."
The spontaneous, charming statement came in the middle of the small talk, and Y/N felt very happy, ready to respond that she loved him too.
It was then that the thing appeared between them, looking furious, showing its large teeth.
"No ! Eddie, no, you can't do that !"
âOh, God, what is that ?!â
"Vee ! Vee, you promised me, man ! You're going to scare her ! And you have no right to interfere in my love affairs, go back inside ! Y/N, sorry, I'm really sorry, Iâll explain !â
âI have the right to give my opinion !â the creature replied, turning to Eddie. "You're ashamed of me, of us ! Anne accepted us ! Anne likes us ! If your new little darling doesn't accept us, then she's not good enough !"
âAnne didnât really have a choice and we werenât together anymore, stop talking about her all the time !â
After more or less managing to calm down the "non-parasite" that lived inside him, Eddie did his best to calm down Y/N, who was totally freaked out by what had just happened. He explained to her that Venom was an alien, a symbiote, who needed him to survive, who had helped him on numerous occasions, and who was not dangerous.
"I'm very dangerous ! I'm the lethal protector !"
"What does he mean ?"
"Nothing ! Well, he likes to fight crime, he's dangerous to the bad guys. You have absolutely nothing to fear, I promise. I⊠I'm so sorry."
Eddie then began to sob, despite all the comfort that Vee tried to give him by telling him that only losers cried like children and that he was pathetic to moan like that, putting them to serious shame.
Even though she was still scared, Y/N couldn't help but hug her boyfriend, trying her best not to touch the alien. She repeated to him that everything was fine, that it wasn't his fault, and that even though this situation was strange, she still wanted to be with him.
This seemed to reassure him, and make him very happy.
Unfortunately, there were three of them in this relationship, and Venom clearly didn't want to be with Y/N at all.
It was him that Eddie had been mumbling to since they met, often arguing about her, as the alien kept comparing her to Anne, his ex girlfriend.
Without any sign of lying in his eyes, he promised her that he hadn't been in love with her for a long time. Their breakup had been difficult, but she had found someone very quickly, Dan, a great guy, and they were married now, and Eddie was very happy for them.
Well, that wasn't easy to believe with Venom growling and hitting his host's head at the end of every sentence, insulting Dan and repeating how great Anne was.
But Eddie seemed really honest. He was friends with his ex, nothing more, and he wanted to be with Y/N now, even if his idiot parasite didn't agree.
He wasn't an optimist by nature, too much had happened to him in life for him to believe in miracles, but Eddie wanted to believe that Vee would come to appreciate her.
He was quite confident as Y/N was doing her best with the symbiote, trying to talk to him, offering him chocolate, keeping an open mind. Many people would have fled the moment they saw this thing coming out of his body. It was quite a good sign.
But like a wild animal, Venom refused to be coaxed. He wanted Anne, Anne was perfect. Nothing would change his mind. Nothing.
"He hates me." Y/N whispered sadly, even though she knew it was useless, because Venom was always with Eddie, even when she couldn't see him. None of their conversation was private.
"Hate is a strong word⊠He's stubborn, he believes he's right. It's not really against you. If I had always been single, I think he would adore you."
Eddie thought it would be a good idea to introduce her to Anne. In a sense he was right, because it was evident that there was no longer any romantic feeling between them, and that she was very much in love with her husband.
But Y/N couldn't help but do like Venom, and compare herself to the other woman. Beautiful, intelligent, great lawyer with a strong character. It seemed natural to fall for her.
If he sensed her discomfort, the journalist said nothing, spending the evening laughing with the other couple only keeping his hand on her shoulder, putting it back each time Venom forced him to take it off. He was kind enough not to ask her what she had thought of Anne, or if she was reassured. Maybe he was afraid of the answer too.
After that, things got a little complicated. Without doing it on purpose, Y/N put some distance between them. To protect herself, because she only thought of one thing.
One day, Eddie was going to listen to Venom. One day, he was going to see that even if he no longer loved Anne, he could find someone better, and he was going to leave her.
Well, the alien still had contradictory messages. If Y/N sucked, Eddie sucked too. A loser. When he wasn't busy asking for food or criticizing the young woman, he was insulting his poor host.
And if she ended up not listening to what he said about her, only caring about her boyfriend's opinion, she didn't like it at all that Venom treated Eddie so badly.
"No." she said one day, sitting on the sofa, while the journalist was still arguing with the alien for some stupid reason, before throwing up his arms and agreeing to go buy chocolate and tatter tots to calm him down.
"âŠUh ? Sorry, Y/N, are you talking to me ?"
"You're not going out."
"Uh. I'll just go to Madam Cheng's. It'll only take a few minutes."
"Venom doesn't deserve chocolate. You stay here, watch the movie with me, and if he apologizes, then he gets some sugar."
âHow dare you, stupid woman ?!â the symbiote shouted, showing all its teeth to scare her.
But Y/N wasnât afraid anymore. Even though he was rude and mean, he had promised Eddie that he would never hurt her, and he seemed to be an alien of words. Aside from his screams, he had nothing against her.
âYou, how dare you ?!â she replied, jumping off the couch, which seemed to surprise both Eddie and the symbiote. "I don't care what you think or say about me. I understand that you don't like me, that I'm not good enough, and you know what ? I agree ! Eddie deserves better than me. But he deserves better than you too ! You're an asshole to him ! I forbid you from talking to him like that, or breaking his nose, even if you fix him right after ! He's a great host, you should thank him and do everything to make him happy."
It was stupid, but she started crying as she spoke. Emotions tended to make her cry, even anger. At the silence of her boyfriend and her non-parasite, Y/N felt bad.
She then had the stupid instinct to go lock herself in the bathroom, to try to calm down and remember how to breathe.
From the other side of the door, she heard whispers, but was unable to tell what they were saying.
Then Eddie knocked gently, asking if he could come in, or if she would come out.
"⊠He's going to apologize ?"
"Yes, I promise."
Trying her tears to not give Venom another reason to make fun of her, Y/N opened shyly, not daring to look at her boyfriend right away, and stood stupidly in front of him, waiting.
âVeeâŠâ
âIâm sorry, brave little morsel.â
"Hmm ? Oh. No, I meant an apology for Eddie."
âHe already apologized, love.â
"I don't need him to apologize to me. He meant what he said, and like I said⊠He's not wrong. But it's nice."
"Little morselâŠ" Venom whispered, moving closer to her and looking almost sad. "I was totally wrong. I see it now. Eddie explained it to me, but I wasn't listening."
With Eddie translating what he said, the alien explained that for his species, symbiosis was important. They could have several hosts, but there was only one perfect symbiosis, just one.
Part of him wanted to keep his host to himself, jealous and possessive, but that wasn't possible, because contrary to what his attitude seemed to show, he cared about Eddie's happiness.
That was why he was so insistent that he return to Anne. Because from the memories he had seen of his relationship, he had seemed to be in perfect symbiosis with Anne, and since there was only perfect symbiosis, then he had to do everything to get her back, even if she was married to stupid Dan.
He didnât hate Y/N. It really wasn't personal, it was just logic and survival instinct.
What Venom failed to understand was that human relationships weren't like symbiosis. And in the end, if he had to compare the two, it was now obvious that Eddie's perfect match was with Y/N.
Yes, his ex had helped them, and she would help them again if necessary. But so did Y/N, who had accepted Eddie's special situation, who had stayed despite the horrible things Venom had said, who protected her lover and tried to please the alien.
"BabeâŠ" Eddie sighed, taking her hands. âIf anyone is too good for anyone else here, itâs you.â
"He's right."
"⊠Thank you Vee."
"But you always say she's too good for you. Once we agree, you might be happy !"
"Eddie⊠You're saying that ?"
"Of course. I still don't know how I managed to seduce you, or why you didn't run away when you saw Vee, or what I did to deserve that such a great girl could think that she's in love with a guy likeâŠ"
He jumped a little when she kissed him to stop him from saying any more nonsense, but Eddie quickly relaxed, clinging to her, pinning her against the wall to accentuate the kiss.
Right in their ears they could hear Venom purring in pleasure. They didn't mind until he licked their cheeks.
"Vee ! It's disgusting !"
"You're not listening to me ! I'm telling you to get into bed ! You're going to hurt Y/N if you stay here. A Lady should be caught in satin sheets, surrounded by rose petals, after foreplay of at least twenty minutes, and satisfied several times."
"⊠What ?!"
"I really like this idea. Eddie, where are my rose petals and at least twenty minutes of foreplay ?"
"Y/N ! Don't team up against me, please !"
"I can help him with endurance. And the rest. I've seen a lot of videos."
"⊠Okay ! Remind me to take care of my internet history tomorrow morning."
"Yeah, yeah. Less talk, more passion. Little morsel is waiting, I can feel it, and she's ovulating."
"⊠Aren't you supposed to go get chocolate from Madam Cheng ?"
"Yes ! And I will take the opportunity to explain for the hundredth time why there are things that should not be said."
âBut Y/N is wet.â
"And here we go !"
Despite Eddie's explanations, Venom continued to want to give advice and do everything to make his relationship with Y/N perfect.
After all, he had almost ruined everything, so he felt he had an obligation to help these two idiots be happy, living in harmony and understanding what to do to satisfy the other in every situation.
Even if Eddie was already a caring and kind boyfriend, who Y/N didn't want to leave at all despite this little characteristic.
That said, after the alien took the initiative to help with his tongue once, she wasn't really complaining about it.
#venom#eddie brock#eddie brock x reader#eddie brock imagine#eddie brock fanfic#eddie brock x venom#venom x reader#a bit#they are a trio
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doing a part of the request my fave jason simp, đŠ anon, made some time ago AND THAT I FEEL BAD FOR REPLYING UNTIL NOW
so writer's block who? i just needed a sex and the city episode to pull out this so here we fucking GO
it's been quite a while since sleeping on jason's place is a regular thing, not only sleeping but spending time there on his free time watching him cook or just sit together to read a book. it's by far the best feeling ever because even if he isn't fucking you into oblivion during the night being by his side feels just right.
despite everything being so perfect and nice there are some boundaries he isn't letting you cross yet and the reason? explained properly and understood by you, he was trying to make sure you'd be safe without anyone finding a way to get to you and hurt you wanting to hurt him with it. that meant not leaving personal stuff on his place, it was risky to let you spend so much time around but he couldn't resist it, jason loved being able to have his arm wrapped around your shoulder as he read on the couch, leaning in every now and then to kiss your cheek.
the room was still dark, it was early when you had started to wake up from your slumber to squirm under jason's arm that was holding you tight against his chest as he nuzzled his face against your back, the feeling of you wanting to escape his grip makes him drag you more into his embrace and a soft grunt leaves his throat when he finds himself unable to bury his face into your hair "where are you going, ma?" he asks, still more asleep than anything as jason still has his eyes closed.
"i need to get ready, love" the reply reaches him and even with that information jason refuses to let go of off you, his arms now wrapped around your hips as you try to get out of his bed, dragging with you the sheets for a whole second before you almost fall from the bed "jay, i really, really need to leave the bed..."
"but it's still dark, you can't leave yet... i want to sleep a little more and i want you here with me" the smile that reply steals goes missing for him, poor guy is still almost fully asleep but he clings onto you for dear life even knowing you probably have something to do during the day before he's able to hold you again "just one more hour. then you're free to go, angel"
"i need that hour to get ready, jaybird" you chuckle, shifting a little under his arm as you try to push it away from you and when you finally escape the death grip jason has on your body the lazy walk to the bathroom is filled with the guilt of leaving him all alone to get ready for something that wouldn't be as nice and warm as your lover's embrace. picking up your clothes and stuff to get ready you rethink and the final choice is clear as water, that much you don't even realize when you started to lift the comfy sheet to push jason a bit "you win... i'll stay here"
the fact that jason isn't fully awake makes his pretty smile even prettier because he scoots a little with his arms ready to hold you again and once you lay back on his bed he leans in to kiss your lips and almost as if sleepiness was contagious you found yourself kissing him back and ready to drift back into your dreams where just like in the waking, you'd stay into jason's arms. hiding your face against his neck, arms wrapped around his torso and one leg drapped over his hips it's nice and warm to feel his big hand caressing your thigh softly as his lips kiss tenderly your neck making you smile widely.
there's a sweet sense of intimacy on his touch and even if the tiredness washes over both of you, jason's hands are now holding your hips to press you against his body and between soft and tender kisses, his hands and yours start to pull off the little amount of clothes you used to sleep. his practiced hands run sweetly over your skin, undoing the clasp of your bra and taking it off while your hands pull up his shirt, fingers gently caressing his scars as he kissed a trail across your jaw.
"you're just so pretty..." jason's gruffy voice makes you shiver and under the sheets his body is pressed flush against you, his hands holding your waist as he rolls his hips against yours as if testing waters and there's nothing that would make you leave his side. not now, not ever.
"i love you so much, red..." you mutter against his chin, letting out a breathless moan when he's able to push into you, his movement is anything but hard. he takes his sweet time to settle between your inner walls, letting out a soft groan accompanied by a content smile when you wrap your arms around his neck to snuggle against him.
"love you too, ma" he whispers against your temple, he has his eyes closed as he enjoys the warmth you provide and he knows that even in the dark place his life is you're everything he will ever need. with a soft sigh he starts moving, slow strokes as he holds onto your hips while muttering sweet nothings into your ear.
the whole room is filled with the tenderness of the moment, silent gasps and soft moans as he held you as if you could break if he got too rough. your lips peppering his jaw and cheeks in soft kisses as he rolls his hips into you making your breath hitch everytime he hits that sweet spot and the chill of the morning feels like something so strange because your morning is sweet and warm while jason is by your side.
time seems to go by slower, lips swollen from the kissing to drown the soft grunts and to delay everything a little more until you feel jason's slow strokes faltering before he spills himself inside you, drawing a soft moan from your lips as your own release washed over you making your body clench around his in a delicious grip. the room is now filled with nothing besides the soft pants of your breathing, his hands caressing soothingly your waist as you nuzzled your face against his neck.
"can't you stay here today? i don't feel like letting go of my pretty princess" jason asks quietly, his voice is still a bit gruffy and he looks sleepy despite what you just did. it's impossible to leave him like this, shiny eyes and messy hair, looking happy finally because he had his little world into his arms.
#â đŹ â#đŠ anon#â mara's thoughts â#jason todd#jason todd imagine#jason todd headcanon#jason todd songfic#jason todd smut#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd fic#jason todd blurb#jason todd x fem!reader#jason todd x you#jason todd x reader#jason todd x y/n#red hood fic#red hood headcanon#red hood imagine#red hood fanfiction#red hood smut#red hood fluff#red hood#red hood x fem!reader#red hood x you#red hood x reader#red hood x y/n#dc comics#dc comics imagine#dc comics reader insert#dcu
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dean winchester x angel!reader â kissing lessons.
or, the defenses are down, the blockades shattered, and you dont know how to kiss. or, let dean help you.
cw, 18+, MDNI! dean talks you through it for real this time. backseat sex LOL. fluffy smut? lowkey subby dean hehehe. no protection yell @ them not me.
word count: 5.6k
notes, dean gets to be his full freak self here hehehe. everyone say ur welcome since i've been being HOUNDED SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIMEMEEEEMEEEE TO POST THIS. unfortunately for all of u this is the planned conclusion to their tale </3 don't crucify me. u legally can't since i'm giving u this.
â
Ëâ
things were... a little awkward, after you saved dean's life with a kiss. like passion drove you over the edge, a desperate need to save him and to do it any way possible, that was the only time that you managed to kiss him right.
and he didn't â well, he kind of judged you for it. just little laughs, when you'd lean in to try and kiss him and end up flushing and sinking backwards. it was cute. sure, it did mean he wasn't getting any action anytime soon, and every bedtime kiss you promised him ended up becoming a bedtime smack for him laughing at your struggle, but hey, you guys just had a different dynamic.
he still thought you were the prettiest thing to ever grace earth. just because you didn't know how to kiss properly didn't mean he was going to suddenly stop being interested. it just opened doors to getting to teach you.
sam stayed back at the motel while dean volunteered to go on a drink run. it was one of those nights; a roundabout case that the both of them knew was going to keep them up looking for the slightest detail in the research that could alter their investigation for the better. sam needed a beer, dean wanted a beer, and you wanted whiskey.
literally. girl of his dreams, he'd thought. still thinks.
plus, you love car rides. dean had not let you back behind the wheel since the last time, and you didn't seem to want to try again either, more than content to sit and look pretty in the seat next to him.
the nearest liquor tour in whatever small town you guys were camping out in for the night was a good few miles away, and so he got to play all of his cards in one fell swoop. hand on your thigh, fingers trailing up the seams of your jeans, tracing with his nail on the inside of your palm.
you were squirming. he loved when you squirmed.
his fingers are just at the inside of your thigh, long enough to have gently walked their way over like they owned the place ( he did, you didn't know it yet ) and rest easily. that is the moment you speak up, those narrowed eyes locked on his in a glare.
"stop that."
dean's eyebrows flick up. he spares a single glance toward you, the picture of innocence written into the marrow of his sinful bones. "stop what?"
"you're touching me."
he hums to himself for a moment, eyes turned toward the stoplight he'd rolled up to. "could be touching you more."
"no."
dean huffs out a laugh. "are you scared of my hands, dove?" even as he says it, his hand moves again, to the safety of your thigh. "you know they'd never hurt you."
your eyes roll furiously. you grab his wrist and practically throw his hand onto the gearstick. "your hands are not sentient beings and cannot make that choice for you."
dean's gotten really receptive to you, over these past few weeks. what your expressions meant in the rare times that you didn't voice your confusion, what your body language said, and so now he's confident that he knows what you're feeling right now. your hands are clenched tightly in your lap, purposely not touching him, fisted so tightly that they shake a little. your eyes are facing forward without budging, even though he knows that his gaze is burning into the side of your face.
the stoplight illuminates your face in a green glow. "it's a green light," you say without turning to look at him, and that pretty much confirms it for dean. you're afraid. afraid, embarrassed, and not wanting to tell him any of it. "so go."
dean's jaw clenches as he restrains a frown behind the cage of his teeth. the absolute last thing he wanted was for you to feel like you had to hide away from him, keeping every one of those thoughts locked away in your inexperienced, curious head.
the car rolls into drive again, passing the parking lot for the liquor store. he sees it out of the corner of his eye; the way your head cocks to the side, your lip between your teeth while you try to figure out what he was doing. you could ask. he wanted you to ask. whatever was eating at you was keeping all of his pretty girl's first thoughts from him.
he pulls off on the side of the road and cuts the engine, leaving the both of you in darkness except for the moonlight pouring in through the windshield.
dean nods toward the backseat. "hop on back there, sweet girl," he says with a sigh, unbuckling his seatbelt and sliding out of the driver's seat. you don't move. he props himself in the doorway with an unmoved expression. "c'mon. it's late. don't wanna have to tell you twice."
the way your face twists up in annoyance is exactly what he wanted to see. good. anything but that weariness that had marred your features. he slips into the backseat, shuts the door behind him, before your door opens.
seconds later, you're dropping into the seat next to dean. he turns on the leather to face you better, his hand coming up to brush the hair out of your face. "you know you can talk to me, right? i act like an ass all the time, i know, but you don't have to lock yourself away."
your face goes pink at his words. that angry twitch of your nose makes an appearance, and it's all dean can do not to break into a wider grin. knowing that something so delicate could also be so wicked was an enticing thought all in itself.
"it's embarrassing."
"so what?" his lips twist as his shoulders raise in a shrug. "who's gonna judge you? me? be serious, dove."
your nose twitches again, mouth in a tight scowl. "you would definitely judge me."
"that's how i know you're feelin' all insecure up there," dean says, tapping your temple with his finger, "because you know that's not true. i know that's not true."
you growl, actually growl, and dean wants nothing more than to grab you by the hand and tug your mouth onto his. even if you don't kiss him back, he wants to kiss you. your furious frustration was a common occurrence around him, but that didn't mean it got any less attractive.
"when you touch me," you grit out through your clenched teeth, your hands fisted in your lap like you might hit him. hell, he'd have taken the punch right then, if it kept you talking. "i feel things."
dean blinks twice in quick succession. "and?" you do hit him square in the shoulder. your hands carry much more of a punch than he could have predicted. he lets out a little oof, his lips pursing with his lack of amusement. "it's a serious question!"
"i can't say." you look adamant, your frustration so pretty on your features, and dean's a bit dazed. "it's embarrassing," you repeat, and dean gets it. or, he thinks he does.
one corner of his mouth quirks again, his cheek dimpling. the hand on your face falls to your thighs again, fingers lightly dancing on the inner seam of your jeans. "here?"
your hand raises to punch him again, and he knows he's right; catches it just in time before you can bruise that spot on his shoulder. "well, i can't leave you feelin' all hot and bothered, can i?"
"i am not hot," you scoff out almost in disgust at the suggestion, and dean does laugh, then. you were so hot it was ridiculous, but alright. "but i am very bothered."
"lucky for you," dean murmurs, his hand releasing your wrist and moving to your jaw, turning your head to look at him again, "i am very good at handlin' bothered girls." he leans in, brushes his lips against yours. "angels, i should say."
dean can feel you retreating already at the slight touch of his lips, but now he knows that it's not because you don't want to kiss him, or don't want what he's offering. you're afraid of it like the feelings will bite you, nervous to feel the full extent of it. his fingers hold your jaw more firmly.
"now, i'm not gonna ask," he says, driven further by the soft sound of your breath catching, "since you're feeling a little trigger happy right now... but i think it's time my little dove has herself some kissing lessons."
to his surprise, you don't hit him again. you just stare into his eyes with such earnest honesty that it's his turn to lose his breath. you trusted him so much. he wanted to show you just how much it meant to him; let you watch as he cradled your heart in his hands.
the distance closes in a second between your mouths, the brush of his slow and languid against yours, judging your reactions. your kiss is hesitant, and then suddenly you're pressing further into him, the force of it almost bruising when you don't move your lips. he pulls back enough to look into your eyes.
dean's finger comes up to pinch your lips closed, smiling softly as he does. "don't have to try n' bite my face off, honey, i promise," he chides without any malice in his words, taking advantage of the gentle grasp he had on your lips to lean in again. he kisses you slowly again, deliberate in the way his mouth moves, so you could figure it out.
your fingers uncurl in your lap and move to his shirt, twisting the soft cotton lightly. that's when he releases your lips, his hand shifting to cup your cheek in his palm. dean's thumb traces reassuringly on your cheekbone.
when your mouth opens this time, it's less like you're trying to sink your teeth into him and more like an invitation. dean knew you were a quick learner; had from the moment he'd let you behind baby's wheel. seeing it action like this, with your hands in his shirt and your tongue swiping across his, was on another level.
his free hand reaches for your hands one at a time, his touch on your wrist light as he lifts your fingers to his hair. he has to force his mouth away from yours, has to pull away from the taste of your tongue. "i know how much you wanna yank my hair out," dean teases, letting go of your hand to let you take over, "so go ahead n' pull, baby."
you look between his eyes again with that same open look, and he's sure he's melting right there into the leather backseat. "really?"
dean laughs. "yeah, really." he leans in to nuzzle his nose against yours. "matter of fact, touch anywhere you want, baby. this is all for you. so y'can get outta that head of yours."
something flashes in your eyes at that. he doesn't know what it was - the offer or the idea - that caught your attention, but he's intrigued, too. one of your hand drops from his hair to his shirt again, this time at the waist of it.
he's a little dazed, admittedly, as you untuck it from being bunched up in the waist of his jeans. it's intense to have your eyes on him while you pull his shirt up until it catches on his extended arms.
"took the first chance y'could to get me naked, huh?" dean asks, even as his voice comes out more strained than it'd been before, his jeans suddenly feeling just as tight.
you use your elbow to nudge his arms up, and he raises his hands in defense at your sudden act of authority before he lifts them. then, you've got his shirt off, tossing it behind your back. "shut up."
"there's my girl," he murmurs, hooking his finger in your belt loop and tugging you closer. maybe he was moving too fast. maybe he knew you'd adapt quickly.
and you do. he never doubted you for a second. your hand rests on his cheek, guiding him back into a kiss, more confidently than any of your kisses had been so far. your fingers tangle in his hair, and dean has to physically bite back on the groan in his throat.
he takes advantage of his hold on your jeans to start unfastening them. you're so good for him, a perfect match, because you don't even know what you're doing but your hips are lifting so he can start pulling them down.
dean breaks the kiss with a pop of your mouths, and the growl you let out goes straight to the hardening cock trapped in his jeans. he doesn't want to move so fast, but you've always been a little cruel like this, tempting him in ways that he should have been stronger to resist. there was no resistance now.
he hooks his arm under your legs to turn you in the seat, draping them across his lap. he unties your boots for you, pulling them off and setting them on the floor of the backseat. then, he's grabbing the bunched denim on your thighs and tugging until they're off. dean has more care with your clothes than you did with his. he'd always treat everything about you as gently as glass, setting them on the middle console between the front seats.
you look at him for a second, like you're trying to gauge the situation you've both found yourselves in. pulled over on the side of the road like teenagers that couldn't wait, stripping each other naked in the backseat. it'd be laughable if you didn't look so vulnerable. for the second time that night, dean realized how big the trust you had in him was, and he didn't want to do a thing to mess it up.
"lemme get this off of you, yeah?" he asks, his hands moving to the bottom of your shirt. he meets your gaze for confirmation; gets a single nod. "it means a lot, y'know," he continues on, trying to keep you out of the black hole that was your worries, as he pulls your shirt up and over your head, "that you're trusting me with this. all of it."
"don't start," you whine, your hands moving to your eyes, covering your face. dean grabs your wrists and pulls them apart, moving your arms out of the way so he could properly see you. "hey!"
dean's lips pull into a small smile. "hi."
"this is a lot," you say, and his smile softens considerably, "i don't know what to do now."
dean lifts his shoulders in a shrug. "whatever you wanna do. this is all you, baby, i'm just here to provide." he rests his large palm on your kneecap, the pad of his thumb rubbing soothingly against your skin. "we can stop. you can kiss me again, or punch me again, if that's what you want. we can get dressed again, get what we actually came for..."
"no." you blink a few times before you shake your head. "i don't want to stop, i..."
dean's not a patient man. he's used to time limits and counting his days. but in this backseat with you, he's certain time has stopped just for the both of you. he feels the world at his disposal, like every bit of time existed like pieces of sand in his palms.
when you realize he is, for once, not going to interrupt you, and not try and put thoughts in place of your feelings, you huff. "i do not know what to do from here."
dean grabs for one of your discarded hands, holding your fingers in his lap. "do you want us to be on equal ground?" he asks, nodding down at himself. you were in nothing but undergarments; he still had his jeans on. "and then we can figure it out from there?"
your smile is beautiful in its hesitance. "okay."
"okay like you want my pants off, or okay like you'd just feel better if we were both freezin' our asses off back here?" dean teases, even as he shifts a little in the cramped space to start taking off his jeans.
your huff is practically a wordless grumble in itself. "why do you want me to spell things out?"
"i want you comfortable, dove," he says, the waistband of his jeans paused at his thighs, "there's no pressure here at all. if there's pressure, then it's not fun anymore."
you think on it for a second. dean watches your expression shift with your feelings and acceptance. "you may continue."
"oh, mama's bossy now, is she?"
you grab a handful of the leg of his jeans and yank. "shut up."
"yes, ma'am."
you wad up his discarded jeans and toss them at him in a ball of denim. "shut up."
"you're so pretty when you're mad, honey," dean mumbles, using his grip on your hand to tug you forward. you stumble a little in the small space, falling into his lap. "come n' make me shut up."
your eyes are narrowed on him as you shift to make yourself comfortable. your leg tosses over his thighs, settling into his lap. his breath hitches in his throat at the feel of your heat through both of the thin undergarments on you, and from the look in your eyes, the evidence of his own arousal has made itself prominent against you, too.
you look like you might say something. you don't. your hands grab him by his face and drag him in for another kiss. he actually chokes on a noise in his throat at the suddenness, and he thinks he might love you. knows he does, but has never felt the intensity of it quite like this before.
dean's mouth opens to let you in, craving the taste of you again. your tongue meets his instantly, lapping against each other's in a languid slow dance. he's content like this. he could stop here, and go back to the motel with or without the alcohol and use this memory here of your tongue in his mouth while you sat all pretty in his lap to get himself off, and be perfectly fine.
but if there was one thing that you were full of, it was surprises. his little whiskey drinking, praise adoring, bossy angel. your fingers fall between the both of your bodies and rest on his hard on through his boxers, and dean looses a shuddering breath.
you pull away from his mouth with his saliva on your lips. dean's head falls back onto the headrest of the backseat with a groan. "you told me i could touch," you say, your innocent voice so out of place with your devilish hands.
"i did," dean says, tracing his thumb over your cheekbone. "didn't expect you to go for the gold immediately, though."
your answering smile is the prettiest thing he's ever seen. the moon sits high in the sky outside of the window, glowing and whitecast down onto you.
a halo of your own making.
dean thinks he's going to die.
you raise your hips off of him for the time being, your light touch teasing and electric at once. dean grasps that hand and lifts it to his mouth, kissing each of your fingertips. "here," he says quietly, his other hand going to your waist. he traces over your ribcage lightly before he closes his fingers over your side.
he pulls you closer, lets you grind against the swell in his boxers. he groans, your breath hitches with a little whine, and he's sure, then, that he'll die like this.
"you like that?" dean asks you, dipping his head to get a better look at your eyes. you look dazed, a little drunk, and dean wants to see those pretty eyes glimmer and glisten.
he lifts you up again by your thigh, just enough to slide his boxers off of him as gently as he can. the space is cramped, and it's finally starting to feel like it.
dean's done this plenty of times, but there's something about your gaze that makes him feel more vulnerable than he ever has before. he's naked underneath you; you, who has never done anything like this before, and he feels more exposed than you seem to.
it's like a game, now. when he does something, you do it, like you don't want to fall behind in this back and forth. your hips stay up, and it's more awkward for you to tug your panties off, but you manage it with a few lifts of your legs, and a kick that sends them, somehow, into the driver's seat.
you laugh. it's breathtaking.
dean helps you settle back on his thighs, and it's all he can do to not fall apart there. you're warm, you're wet enough that he feels it on his legs, and all he wants to do is make you feel even better than you do now.
"green light?" dean asks, lifting his eyes to look at you again, and not at all of the skin bared to him. he doesn't want to overwhelm you with how intense he must be staring at you, but you're mesmerizing. perfection in the form of a wingless angel sat on his lap.
you blink a couple of times before the realization settles in. "go?"
"i'm askin' you, dove," he says in answer, hand going to the back of your neck to pull you closer, to press a kiss to your forehead. "red light or green light?"
your face is so close to his, but dean can see the melted expression in your eyes. instead of answering, you press a kiss to his mouth again. he's glad you like it, now that you know how to do it. he could handle kissing you over and over, but your lips kissing him back is something he was already getting addicted to.
on his mouth, you whisper, "green light."
dean blinks, now. his teeth drag your bottom lip back lightly until it pops back into place. "yeah?"
at your nod, he sits up a little better, his arms snaking around your waist. once he's got a good grip on you, he moves the both of you so that he's sprawled beneath you in the backseat, fully extended. he doesn't fit, his legs bent a little as his back presses into the door, but it's fine. everything is fine when he has you. plus, his bent knees only draws you closer to him.
"i promise this is the last time i'm gonna do this to you," he says with a teasing lilt to his voice, lifting you off of his thighs again. "just say red light if it's too much, okay?"
"okay."
it's more gentle than he's ever been, the way he spreads your legs open a little more, the way he lines the aching length of his cock up with your waiting entrance. just the brush of the tip against the wetness of your folds could make him crumble.
dean pushes up enough to just barely rest inside of you, giving you the moment to adjust. your gasp is small, breathless. he stops instantly, his hand on your thigh loosening its grip. your face twists into a frown. "i didn't say red light," you grumble through the pout, and he's always been a sucker for that little pout, as much as he is for when you sink your teeth into the puffy lip.
his laugh is warm, free hand raising in surrender again. "sorry, baby, jus' lookin' out for you."
you start to sink down further on him yourself with nothing but his hand in guidance. your eyes are wide, your lips parted in a soundless 'o', but you don't tell him to stop, and he trusts you enough to know that you would, if you needed it. he couldn't helicopter monitor you just because he was afraid of breaking the pretty thing he'd grown so attached to.
it's a tight fit, being inside of you. he can feel every bit of your walls expanding to fit him, and he tries not to groan, tries to not get too ahead of himself, but goddamn. months of fantasizing about this, of denying himself those same fantasies out of fear of ruining the trust you were building between each other, comes nowhere near the reality of how it feels to have you in his arms.
your head drops to press against his, and dean's unable to resist the way he leans up to peck a kiss to your mouth. a quick one, light and easy, that you take as a sign to deepen. your teeth scrape his lip, your tongue explores the expanse of his mouth, and dean takes this distraction from the discomfort he knew you were feeling to push the rest of the way inside of you.
you whine on his lips, and he kisses away the little noises. "i know," dean mumbles on your mouth, "it's okay."
the red light is unspoken, but he's not about to push you, or overstep anyways. you trace shapes with your fingertips on his bare chest, worrying at your bottom lip with your teeth.
"green light," you say after a few moments, and a few more soft kisses from him in the crook of your shoulder.
dean nods, leaving a last lingering kiss on your collarbone before he shifts enough to properly start to move inside of you. the thrusts are shallow and gentle, letting you get a feel for it, letting you adjust to his size.
your forehead drops to rest on his shoulder, each little whimper twisting at his heart, even if the sounds of them were beginning to get louder and less strained.
"feelin' better?" he asks, all of the strain from your voice stolen and bottled up in his. the way that you squeeze around him has all of his rational thought fogging, and it takes a conscious effort to be gentle with you. this wasn't about dean; it was about you.
you nod once, your hair tickling at his chest. he's about to keep up the slow pace, to keep going as gently as possible, until you sit up a little straighter and start to meet each of his thrusts with a grind of your hips. dean's head knocks against the passenger window, his breath leaving his mouth in a shudder.
you must like it, too, because you let out a breathless laugh. you grab his hands and hold his fingers between yours, letting them fall to rest on his stomach. it's that game again; you doing something to keep up with what he's doing.
dean grins as he watches you, the tight expression on your face melding into something a little more wild and free. he's never seen you like this. he'd take a picture if he wasn't absolutely certain that you and him were gonna do this again.
again, he moves your hand to his mouth to kiss your knuckles this time, his groan reverberating through your fingers. you match him so easily, like you were made for whatever he gave to you. your increasing confidence makes him feel comfortable enough to speed up, his other arm braced on the back of the seats for stability as he rolls his hips deeper into you.
your head tips backwards with the first real moan he's ever heard out of you. your reckless abandon is utterly disarming. he sits up straighter, letting go of your hand to wrap his arm around your waist, holding you pressed against him as he buries himself inside of you.
your hands tremble as they lock onto his face, holding it to be nose to nose with him. you're panting on his mouth, and he can't stop staring at your lips, and he's so deep inside of you that he can feel the tip against your cervix, deep enough to make a rough groan slip out of his throat.
there was no need for kissing lessons. you would have figured it out on your own, dean's sure of it, with how you tilt his head back to suck his top lip between yours, tongue languid against his.
it's embarrassing how close he is to coming already. how couldn't he? he was enamored, transfixed, and getting this little taste of you was intoxicating. your fingers move from his cheeks to his jaw, clawing at his lip, tugging the bottom one down as you ride him.
he lets you. he'd let you do anything.
dean's thumb finds it's way between your legs, slipping between your slick folds to rub gentle circles into your clit. your thighs clench around his, grinding your hips down further onto his, against his hand.
his head tilts up to capture your mouth again, wanting to taste each moan that you let out, to swallow your pleasure and keep it to himself, where no one else can ever see it. each of those shuddering moans gets louder, more frantic, and he knows you're close.
"dean," you whisper into his mouth, and dean wants to hear his name said like this every time from you, now. breathless, desperate, and as needy as he felt.
he thumbs more deliberately at the swollen nub, pressing a final kiss to your mouth before he works little hot kisses down your jaw, your neck. "dean, i--"
"it's okay," his voice is as rough as gravel. "that's how it's supposed to feel." he knows your head like his own, knows from the frenzied breath into his shoulder that you're going to come, and that it must be a little much, trying to live through those feelings and try to figure them out. "it's supposed to, okay? jus' let go, i've got you."
dean would always have you. he loved you too much to let go.
that thought is what breaks his resolve. his thrusts become more sloppy, harder than he should probably be with you, but he loves you, and it's ruining him to not show it, or tell you. the car is thick with hot air, the windows are foggy, his skin is sticking to the leather seats, but he loves you.
you come apart on top of him with the moonlight still bathing you in a halo's glow. your hips still, your fingers claw at his face, scratching red marks into his stubble, and you cry out a moan against his lips.
he loves you, he loves you, he loves you. his hips stutter to a stop inside of you, a gasping groan punctuating his pants into the column of your throat, his cock twitching inside of you as his cum fills you. he'd worry about that later. or maybe he wouldn't. he didn't care about anything in the world besides how much he loves you.
dean doesn't realize he's whispering it out loud until he registers that pretty laugh of yours.
your hair is stuck to your forehead, your skin glassy with sweat in the pale moonlight, and the halo of the moon still hangs above your head. you're the most divine thing he's ever seen, the closest to divinity he's ever let himself be.
"you love me?" you ask, your eyes so sweet and so warm as they watch him.
dean leans up to kiss each corner of your mouth. "where'd you get that impression?"
he can never tell when you'll be matter-of-fact or when you'll play around. he forgets sometimes all of the things he's taught you, every bad idea you've got wedged in your mind because of his influence. dean winchester never wanted to corrupt you or your innocence, but he knew he'd always end up pulling you into the dark with him. you were stuck together, after all, now that he'd embedded himself to you for saving his life.
"i had a hunch." your head tilts up pridefully, chin jutted out. the act is cute while it lasts but falls apart instantly when you start to laugh again. dean's never heard you laugh so much since you'd met. how'd he get so lucky?
the car ride back to the motel is peaceful, the frigid air conditioning blasting to try and clear the fog from the windows and cool the sweat on your skin. the entire time, dean's hand is on your thigh, and the entire time, you don't move it. the moon follows his angel out the window the entire drive, like it knows, too, that you were as divine as beings could be.
sam calls two miles from the motel. "everything okay?" he asks, genuine concern in his voice. "it's been at least an hour. i didn't think you could get lost on a beer trip in this town."
beer. liquor store. alcohol run. it all comes back to dean now that his head is a little more clear.
"oh," is all dean can say for a few seconds, gaze flickering over to you in the passenger seat. you pick at the threads on his jacket he'd given to you, head downturned to unsuccessfully hide your laugh, "got sidetracked. we'll be back in twenty or so."
it was sam's turn to be silent. his following laugh is more like a scoff than anything else. "jesus christ, dean."
"blame dove," dean cackles into the speaker, eyes fond as he glances over at you again. he makes a (definitely illegal) u-turn at the same stoplight that acted as the tipping point for the night's event back in the direction of the liquor store. "she's the one who needed taught how to kiss."
tags, @figthoughts @jasvtsc @titsout4jackles @deanswidow @deansbite @whisperingwillowxox @bombarda-babe @whyyouegg @loverslantern @bitchykittenconnoisseur @jensenacklesantidote @keira-kaz2y5 @sthefferrete @depressionbarbie2023 @honeyryewhiskey @ultravi0lence14 @bleuatlas @minettacreekk @moonstruksandco @moodyquesadilla @severe-mental-illness @cevansbaby-dove @deansbeer @bluestrd @mccartneyqp @im-bili @chevroletdean @angelblqde @lyarr24 @psyches-reid @momoewn @globetrotter28 @starzify @jackleslvr @ryngzmn @aileenunfiltered @beausling @frosttbitessam @amberlthomas
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dean x saga#dean winchester x angel!reader#angel!reader#jensen ackles#jensen fucking ackles#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x you#dean winchester one shot#dean winchester smut#spn#supernatural#supernatural one shot#spn one shot
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so hereâs my first drabble! interpreted from a very fun dream i had. itâs definitely a fantasy, so if you donât mind suspended reality a little bit with me.
đŹđźđŠđŠđđ«đČ: youâve finally convinced yourself to go back to school and get your degree, youâre late to your first class and your professor doesnât take too kindly to tardiness. or, does he?
đ©đđąđ«đąđ§đ : aaron pierre as dr. pierre & the black!fem reader as you.
đ°đđ«đ§đąđ§đ đŹ: heavy smut, power imbalance, daddy kink, crude language, a bunch of grown folks things. minors do not interact.
Going back to school was your greatest accomplishment to date. At thirty, it wasnât easy to take the leap and register for classes. You were terrified of being seen as the old freshman, but your dreams held more weight than your ego. You were proud of the life youâd built, sacrificing your own education to work and save so your younger brother could have the college experience he deserved. At just eighteen, you stepped up for your family, getting a full-time job to help fund his education. Now, ten years later, your baby brother was well on his way to earning a masterâs degree. It was finally time to center yourself for once.
âShit!â you yelped, bolting upright in bed. Your alarm hadnât gone off, and the panic was immediate. You were supposed to be up an hour ago, but now you were going to be late for your very first college class. The one everyone told you not to take because it was at 8 a.m. Youâd brushed them off, thinking, I used to wake up earlier than that for work. I got this. Clearly, you didnât. It was 7:15, and you had 45 minutes to pull yourself together and get to Magnolia A&M University, your local HBCU.
Luckily, youâd picked out your outfit the night before. You had work later at the country club, and tennis lessons were on the schedule. That meant your Nike tennis skirt and matching top would have to do. After a rushed shower, skincare routine, and throwing your hair into a curly pineapple, you grabbed your keys. It was a ten-minute drive to campus, but with your luck today, who knew if youâd make it on time?
Magnolia A&M wasnât just a school; it was a deliberate choice. Your family had always valued community and Black excellence, so an HBCU was a no-brainer. Every time you stepped on campus, you wished youâd started right after high school. Now, at thirty, you felt too old for frat parties or the Battle of the Bands, but you still loved the sense of unity. The royal blue and orange school colors? You wore them with pride.
You sped to campus like you had a getaway driverâs license, thanking the ancestors you didnât get a ticket. After finding the right building, you made it to the lecture hall only 15 minutes late. African-American History was your first class of the dayâand your minor. It had been the first course you registered for, the one you were most excited about.
As you pushed open the lecture hall doors, all eyes turned toward you, including those of your professor. You couldnât see him clearly from the back of the room, but his posture alone radiated disapproval. Your stomach sank as you scanned the rows of seats. Of course, the only open spot was smack dab in the front row. Middle seat.
You braced yourself for the walk of tardy shame. Muttering âexcuse meâ and âsorryâ at least ten times, you maneuvered your thick frame between tables and chairs. The awkward ordeal felt like it dragged on forever, but finally, you slid into the empty seat, heart racing.
The professorâs voice was what caught your attention firstâdeep, rich, and laced with a smooth British accent. You froze mid-search in your bag for a notebook and pen. When your gaze finally lifted to meet his, you nearly forgot to breathe.
Goddamn.
The word echoed in your mind before you could stop it. Beautiful wasnât a word you usually reserved for men, but no other word fit. His sharp, masculine features contrasted with a pair of thick lashes framing aquamarine eyes. His neat facial hair outlined full, pink lips, and you couldnât stop your thighs from pressing together as a very salacious thought crept into your mind. one that started with his wet duo on your first set of lips, and ending on your second.
Focus, girl. Eyes off the man and on the syllabus.
You forced yourself to listen, trying to ignore the low hum of his voice that made your spine tingle. Curiosity bubbled up as you wondered what a man from London was doing teaching African-American Studies in Texas. Almost as if reading your mind, he began explaining.
He told the class how reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X in middle school ignited his fascination with race relations in the West. That fascination led him to pursue a bachelorâs, masterâs, and doctorate in African-American Studies. The name âDr. Aaron Pierreâ on your schedule had conjured an image of an older, graying professor who had more experience than book knowledge. You werenât expecting a thirty year old Adonis who looked like he belonged on the cover of GQ.
The class went on like normal, an introductory first day of school. The hour ticked by as you gawked at your professorâs arms in the fitted black polo shirt he wore. It wasnât until everyone around you had gotten up that you realized class had been dismissed. You followed suit, only to have your name called out in that deep baritone. How had he remembered it? Your introduction was one of the first of at least seventy-five.
âCan I see you in my office? You missed the first few minutes of class, just want to make sure youâre up to speed.â
Your throat was suddenly rivalry for the Sahara desert, your stomach hollowed. You were about to get kicked out of your first college course, all because your stupid alarm didnât sound. You followed him to his office in silence, he opened the heavy wooden door for you and you ambled inside. Once the door closed behind you, you turned on your heels with an explanation at the ready. Until you realized his eyes were scanning your frame.
âThe outfit⊠itâs different.â His comment caught you off guard, making your brows knit together. Was he picking on you? You glanced down at your tennis skirt. It hugged your curves, sure, but it wasnât like youâd rolled out of bed in pajamas.
âI work after class,â you explained, tone sharp but polite. âIâm a tennis instructor.â His eyebrows lifted slightly, a flicker of interest flashing across his face. âTennis?â He asked as he walked past you, to the other side of the cherry wood desk.
âYeah, tennis.â You straightened your back, meeting his gaze. Youâd been playing since elementary school. Your parents always joked that you couldâve been the next Venus or Serena, but you were realistic. You werenât that good, just good enough to teach seven and eight year olds the basics.
Dr. Pierre leaned back against his desk, crossing his arms. âLet me be clear. Lateness will not be tolerated in my class. I take my work very seriously, and I expect my students to do the same.â
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. He really expected a room full of teenagers and young adults to be on time for an 8 a.m. lecture? Cute, and delusional. âDr. Pierre,â you said, softening your voice. âI apologize. My alarm didnât go off, and I worked late last night. I promise, it wonât happen again.â
His gaze lingered on you, and then he said, with absolute confidence, âI know.â
Your head tilted slightly, trying to figure out what he meant. He didnât know you. And he sure as hell wasnât your daddy. âUh, okay. Whatever that means,â you mumbled, more to yourself than to him.
He smiledâa slow, deliberate curve of his lipsâand then, to your utter shock, said, âYouâre beautiful.â
âTha-thank you,â you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper.
Dr. Pierreâs expression remained unreadable as he began to close the distance between you. Each deliberate step sent a jolt of electricity racing down your spine, rooting you to the spot. You couldnât move, couldnât thinkâcompletely stunned by his actions. By the time he was within armâs reach, your breath was shaky, uneven. His hand reached out, wrapping gently but firmly around your wrist. The warmth of his touch sent a spark up your arm, and before you could process it, he pulled you closer.
Your chest brushed against his, and the faint, intoxicating scent of teakwood and cedar enveloped you. The combination was rich and grounding, but it wasnât just the cologneâhe smelled good. Too good.
He leaned down slowly, his aquamarine eyes locking onto yours, heavy with intent. You were hyperaware of everything in that moment; the way his grip lingered, the heat radiating from his body, and the way his lashes framed those impossible eyes. Your faces were so close now that your noses barely brushed. The faintest touch, but enough to make your heart race like youâd run a marathon.âCan I?â he murmured, his voice low and velvet-smooth, like a secret meant only for you. The words hung in the air, and without hesitation, you gave him what he needed, your consent.
The moment his lips met yours, the world seemed to fade away. His kiss was slow, deliberate, and impossibly soft. He moved with care, as though savoring every second, every touch. You felt your knees weaken, and for a fleeting moment, you feared you might melt into the floor right where you stood. The scent of him, the warmth of his lips, the way his hand slid down to cradle the small of your backâit was all-consuming. Time slowed, and the only thing that existed was him. When he pulled back, just enough to let your noses brush again, his eyes searched yours as if waiting for a sign. Your lips still tingled from his kiss, and your heart thundered in your chest.
âI-Iâm going to be late for work.â You stumbled, he laughed, amusement of the irony coming from the depths of his diaphragm. âYou didnât give a fuck about being late to my class, am I not just as important? Hm?â He inquired, tilting your head up so that you were staring in those oceanic orbs. He subtly pushed you backwards until the bend of your knees collided with his desk. With ease, he picked you up and sat you on top of it. He kneeled down before you, as if your body was an altar he would pray to. âYou smell so good.â He uttered as he leaned in and pressed his nose to the center of your now soaked panty, taking in your aroma. It was the sexiest thing that had ever happened to you.
âI canât believe thisâŠâ You meant to keep that inside, but clearly your mind had other plans.
âBelieve it.â He responded with a laugh. âI wanted you the moment I saw you walk in my class, baby.â Skillfully he pulled your panties off completely, opening the drawer next to him and dropping them in there as his own personal souvenir. He pushed your skirt up onto your body until it was damn near a belt, balling up the pleats in his hands as he devoured your center, lick by lick.
He feasted on you as if he would never be nourished again, sipping your waters as if they came from the finest of natural spring. hell, clearly they had. âOh my fucking God!â You squeaked as his lips wrapped around your pulsating clit, giving it a sweet, sloppy french kiss. His middle and index finger grazing your drenched slit as he slipped both inside. his thick digits filled you up, causing your muscles to tighten around him. He grunted against your pussy, imagining how tightly you would grip his manhood.
âThatâs not my name princess, Iâm not God.â He was to you, in this moment. he had sucked your free will right out of your coochie. What was his fucking name? âWhatâs my name?â He inquired as if he was reading your mind once again. His fingers continued to please you, grazing his smooth tips against your ribbed g-spot. This nigga had a Ph.d in more than just some history. âDoctorrrrrrrrrâŠ.â You whined out, dragging out the profession as he pressed sweet kisses right above your gushing mound while you smothered his digits in your sweetness.
âDoctorâŠ.daddy!â You cried out, hoping that there was no one in the near vicinity that wouldâve heard your outburst. Another laugh as he slowly slid his fingers out of you, now covered and dripping in your cum. âDoctor daddy..I like that.â He retorted before slipping his fingers into his mouth, cleaning you off of him one by one as you watched in awe. Stunned by his insistence of eye contact. Removing his fingers, he used the same two to beckon you to come close to him, once you sat up he leaned over you, his lips ghosting yours before he spat the mixture of your cum and his saliva into your mouth before engaging you in a messy lip lock.
The kiss was the distraction. You had completely missed the unbuckling of his belt, the sound of his zipper or him removing his hard inches out of his dress pants. Before you realized it, he pulled you to the edge of the desk and slipped inside of you. Your walls reacted before your brain could, gripping onto him for dear life. So surprised by the intrusion that it felt like you would push him out all together. Your breathing hitched, in a way to relax your body so that he could continue exploring the depths of you.
âAugh!â You groaned out as he worked the first few inches of himself in and out of your throbbing center. He pressed his lips to yours repeatedly, whispering for you to hush every now and again. âBe a good girl, take this dickâŠif you can be late to my class, surely you can handle dick.â He mumbled, his accent causing a chill to run up your spine. He was gentle, despite his rough approach. He fed you little by little until your pelvises collided and you were completely full of him. He laid you on the desk, hands on each side of your head, eyes connected as he began to stroke, deep and powerful. âLook at you, such a pretty girl. Wrapped around me like you love me.â
âI DO.â You wanted to scream. But instead melodic moans escaped your warm lips, words were inconveniently absent. You can tell your lack of verbal participation was bothering him just a bit, by the way the swing of his hips picked up with every new thrust. After a moment or two, he was fucking you relentlessly. His thick crown had found your spot and was no longer caressing it with care. He was beating your shit.
âAre you gonnaâ be late again?â he asked, every syllable being drilled into your guts. Your stomach twisted and turned with each pump, but he peered down at you like he expected an answer, like your brain could comprehend what he was even saying.
You parted your lips to speak, but failed once again, a moan being the only verbalization you could produce. the strokes came to an abrupt stop, he pulled out of you without so much as a warning. âWait!â you called out, desperately, holding your hands out like you could put him back in your damn self. he chuckled darkly. âYou think you can ignore me and cum?â
You couldnât realistically promise youâd never be late again, you didnât control traffic, or flat tires, or bad hair days but you wouldâve said anything to feel him again. âIâll never be late again, Doctor. I promise. Just pleaseâŠlet me cum all over you.â You purred, making empty promises.
âI donât believe you.â He added curtly, slapping the head of his massive erection against your clit, watching his pre-cum glaze your bulb. âBut your pussy feels too good for me to argue.â He concluded as he entered you again, continuing his euphoric pillage of your body. The knots in your belly felt permanent, your toes curled as your legs wrapped around him. Your climax approaching with the volt of a thousand watts. His wood throbbed inside of you, pulsating with the same intensity. He was meeting you at your peak. âFuckâŠâ He grunted, proving your theory right. You draped your arms across his neck, leaning in and pressing your lips to his jawline, placing kisses until you reached his ear. âCum with me, Dr. PierreâŠI wanna feel you dripping out of me.â Your salacious words seemed to do the trick as both of you unraveled at the very same time.
You shouldâve felt shame, or even disillusioned. But you felt nothing short of satisfied and empowered. Your legs were shaking and you were full of a strangers seed, but dammit was your first day of school memorable.
â8:00 AM, Wednesday. Donât be lateâŠâ He spoke as he buckled his belt, looking up at you with those piercing orbs. âOh, and that seat in front of me is now your assigned seat.â He added, prompting a laugh to fall from your lips.
âSee you Wednesday, Dr. Pierre.â You concluded as you exited his office and back into the real world.
Fuck, you were late for work.
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(not so) simple finale - anthony bridgerton
masterlist
summary: coercing lord bridgerton into pretending to court you to avoid the affections of a baron is very simple â that is, until it isnât.
a/n: so um ignore how long every part of this took to come out. i have no excuse. anyways we are finally here at the end!! almost 10k words of proper regency soap opera type shit and it all ends happily i promise. i hope u enjoy because damn this was supposed to be a short one shot and ended up being over 40k lmao
wc: 9k
warning(s): angst, reader is a lil insecure, slightly steamy make out scene, happy ending<333
Youâd never been this restless before.Â
Your dreams had a part to play in it. They insisted on tormenting you, though not in the usual way.Â
No, these dreams would have been pleasant had they come any sooner. For Anthony Bridgerton appeared in near every single one, with his charming smile and soft eyes and hair you always desired to run your fingers through.Â
He would smile at you, offer his arm and walk with you all around the park and the city as you talked for hours. He would compliment you, and you would compliment him, and he would court you as a perfect gentleman would.Â
He would kiss you, ravenously so. His hands would touch you where no one had touched before, leaving trails of fire in their wake, would unearth feelings you never could have imagined. He would revere you, near worship you, because in this world you never made such ill-advised choices. In this world, you never dragged him into a worthless scheme that ended with a ruined reputation and a broken heart. Â
In this world, he loved you just as much as you loved him, and you never did a single thing to make him doubt that.Â
But you were not there.Â
You were here, in the real world. Where you were in the midst of reaping what you spent a whole season sowing.Â
You were roused from that less than peaceful attempt at sleepâthough thoughts of Anthony took longer to disappearâby the opening of your door, and despite your visitor attempting to be quiet, you found your eyes fluttering open against your will.
âOh, dearest,â your mother lamented, âI did not mean to wake you. I apologize; I merely wanted to check on you. I will return laterâplease, rest.â
âNo,â you murmured, and you rubbed your eyes as you pushed yourself into a sitting position. Small movements were much easier, which at least meant a step in the right direction. âNo, stay. Please.â
âAre you sure?â she asked. When you nodded, she closed the door lightly behind her and sat on your bedside, laying her hand over yours.Â
She whispered your name, her voice already thick with tears that she was trying to hide. âI am so glad you are alright.âÂ
âYou say that every time you come in here,â you said.
âAnd I will continue to say it.â She shook her head. âYou nearly perished. You should consider yourself lucky I am not in here at all hours of the day.âÂ
You managed a smile, and she sighed. âHow do you feel?â
âBetter,â you said. âI am still sore, but much better.â
âGood,â she said. âAll I can ask is that you continue to get better.âÂ
âThe rest has certainly been nice,â you said. âAm I still a true lady despite my late wakings?âÂ
âYou have always been a true lady,â your mother assured with a slight smile.Â
âI believe you may be the only one that still thinks so.âÂ
âIf you are feeling ready, there is a ball in a fortnight,â she said. âIt could be a good way to garner good will again.â You gave her a look, and she held up her hands. âI understand how you feel, but your presence is important. There are⊠rumors floating about, and we must lay them to rest.âÂ
âRumors,â you muttered wryly. âThat your daughter is an ungrateful wench and will die a spinster?âÂ
She said your name sternly, and you shook your head. âI read what Whistledown wrote about meâsheâs likely written a hundred more. I do not care what any of them think of me, Mother. I am only sorry for the pain it has caused you and Father, and the Bridgertons.âÂ
âThe Bridgerton name is strong enough to weather scandal,â she said. âWe have to work a bit harder. And making an appearance in society again, especially with Lord Cardew by your side, will help.âÂ
You suppressed a scoff at the mere thought of him. Youâd been granted such a reprieve from Lord Cardew because of Anthonyâs influence, and while you were recovering, no one but family was to see you. But soonâvery soonâhe would be your entire life.Â
âThat brings up another question,â your mother said wryly, and when you met her eyes she was giving you a very pointed look. âAre you still sure about this?âÂ
No, you wanted to say. You couldnât be less sure about Jonathan Cardew. But youâd dragged your family into this mess of yours, so it was your duty to fix it.Â
Plenty of women married much more dreadful men every year. You should have considered yourself lucky that a man of his breeding, of his standing was interested in you at allâespecially after the season youâd spent distancing yourself from him and the scandal youâd caused.Â
â...Yes,â you finally said. âI am sure.â
Your mother sighed and said your name. âYou are sure? You have not reached out to AnthââÂ
âThere is nothing left between us,â you interrupted. âI know it is not the best situation, and I know it is my fault, but I am making the best of it. All I ask is that you support me. It is hard enough attempting to make my way through this worldâI need my mother to be there for me rather than constantly pushing against it all.â
â...Of course,â she said quietly. âAnd I am so sorry that I have ever done differently. My dear, all I ask in return is that you understand me, as well as the decisions I make. All I want is the best for you, and I know that marriage is not what you desire, but there are things we must do.âÂ
âOf course,â you said, and your echoing words spurned a small smile from her. âI am sorry that I have always fought you so much. All I could see was my hatred for any kind of union, but all I managed was hurting you and Father, as well as myself, andâ and I cannot think of any apology that will be enough.â You shook your head with a mirthless laugh. âIâve no idea how you put up with me for so long, truly.âÂ
âIâve never had to put up with you,â she said. âI realize I may not have done the best job at showing it, butâ but I love you more than anything in this world. Everything I have ever done has been for you, my darling. You are the future of our name, and I know you will do an excellent job at carrying on our legacy.âÂ
âTruly?â you asked softly.Â
Your mother nodded as she took your hands and smiled at you. âTruly. Nothing in this world can change my love for you. You are our greatest accomplishment.âÂ
You swallowed the sudden lump in your throat as you smiled as well, and you pulled your mother into a hug. She reciprocated, and tears filled your eyes. Youâd missed the comfort of her presence so dearly.Â
âI love you too,â you whispered.Â
-
âAre you alright, my lady?âÂ
Your ladyâs maid's words snapped you out of the stupor youâd found yourself in, and it was all you could do to attempt a smile.Â
âYes, Julia,â you said. âQuite alright.âÂ
Her brows furrowed as she draped a pendant around your neck, the cold metal turning your exhale slightly shaky. âPardon my plainness, my lady, but you are not believable in the slightest.âÂ
âYou have been around me for far too long,â you said dryly. âI request another maid, one that cannot read me so easily.âÂ
Julia offered a wry smile. âYou are stuck with me for now, my lady. What is weighing so heavily on your mind?âÂ
You stared yourself in the mirror as you turned the question over. It was not as easy to answer as it should have been, not when everything was so out of order. Not when you hardly recognized the reflection staring back at you, wrapped in orange silk and adorned in jewels courtesy of Lord Cardew.Â
You were not yourselfâyou were to be Baron Jonathan Cardewâs wife, a baroness and status symbol to hang off his arm and smile prettily, and Baroness Cardew was who stared back at you.Â
Only a few more balls remained until the season came to an end, and though Lord Cardew was doing your family an immense service by giving you a second chance, he did not want to wait much longer to make it official.Â
It was all planned out. Your relationship would truly enter the public eye tonight with your dances, you would promenade in open parks to have as many eyes on you as possible. He would call on you and your meager staff would be encouraged to spread rumors. Another ball would pass together, enough to hopefully weather some of the scandal youâd created, and thenâŠ
Then, he would propose.Â
You would accept.Â
And the fate youâd been so intent on avoiding would be sealed.Â
You swallowed the lump in your throat, blinking back the impending tears.Â
âI am nervous,â you admitted. âMy decision didnât exactly feel⊠real. Not until I was standing at the modiste getting fitted for this gown with one of Cardewâs maids. And all this jewelryâŠâ Your fingers trailed across the raised designs on the pendant. âIt makes it even more so.âÂ
âI can only imagine,â Julia said. âHe has certainly put in effort.âÂ
âAnd yet it all feels hollow.â You moved away from the mirror and stopped in front of your vanity. The light blue reticule sitting near your jewelry box felt as if it was mocking you.Â
Julia said your name with a sigh. âYou made your choice. You pushed him away.âÂ
âI know,â you murmured, tracing the embroidery with your finger. âBut feelings do not disappear so quickly.âÂ
âHe wrote letters,â she said. âAfter you moved from Bridgerton House to recover here, after I refused his calling on you for the hundredth time, he wrote letters and delivered them by hand.âÂ
You picked at a loose strand of white thread on the purse, jaw clenched so tight you thought your teeth might crack.Â
âHe told me he did not care if you didnât want them,â Julia continued softly. âHe just needed you to know how he felt.âÂ
âThis is how it has to be,â you finally said, voice shaking.Â
âAnd what makes you think that?â Julia challenged. âYou believe you have to live a life of misery simply because half the ton does so in the name of reputation and riches?âÂ
âTwo things I no longer have any of,â you murmured. âCardewâs pedigree is enough to get both back for my family. It is my duty, Jules, and I can no longer hide from it.âÂ
Your ladyâs maid looked at you with desperation in her eyes when there was a knock on the door followed by your mother calling your name. You nodded your permission and she opened it.
âLady Worthing,â she said, curtsying just so to your mother. âIâve finished getting her readyâIâll give the two of you some time alone.âÂ
âThank you, Julia,â your mother said with a smile. She turned back to you, her eyes softer than ever as she moved forward and set her hands on your shoulders.Â
âMy darling,â she said, âyou look so beautiful. I did not lie when I called you the crown jewel of our family.âÂ
You couldnât help but smile at her compliment, trying to ignore the tightness in your chest. âThank you, Mother. Iâm glad I can make you proud.âÂ
She murmured your name, turning you so you faced the mirror. You saw yourself more this time, feeling more assured with your mother standing behind you holding all the stars in her eyes.Â
âI have always been proud of you, darling,â she murmured. âEven if I did not show it in the best way. I love you more than words can express. I meant it when I said you are our greatest achievement.âÂ
You let out a shaky breath, leaning back against her. She allowed you to sink into her and you felt the tears brimming in your eyes.Â
â...Iâm afraid, Mother,â you whispered. âTo marry. To be a wife.âÂ
She was silent for a moment, busying herself with adjusting your jewelry before she spoke.
âI was afraid too,â she admitted. âI hardly knew your father outside of a few promenades, and one lovely bouquet of flowers. It was almost fully arranged by our parents. But when he proposed, he vowed to always be my friend, and to always take care of me.âÂ
âHas he?â you asked.Â
âYes,â she said. âWe did not love each other on our wedding day. But he has always been kind to me, and he has always advocated for me, and we have always been there for each other. We love each other now, in our own way. And,â she smiled, smoothing down the lace on your sleeves, âtogether, we brought you into the world. I would do it all over again if it meant I would get you in the end.âÂ
You could not imagine considering Lord Cardew a friend, nor the opposite. He saw you as just another pretty jewel to adorn himself with.Â
Anthony saw you as a friendâ as more. He always listened to what you had to say, always entertained your jokes with some of us own, never talked down on you. He saw you as an equal.Â
 âI do not know if any woman is prepared to marry,â she finally said. âEven those that marry for love still have initial doubts. There are so many expectations of our behavior when we are told so little of what we must actually do.âÂ
âHow do you do it?â you asked. âYou married a man you didnât know. You raised a child. You held face against a society that shamed you for only having a daughter.âÂ
âAll you can do is trust in yourself, and in those around you,â she said. âIf you are with the right person, everything will feel as natural as breathing. You will not care what anything thinks of you, because there is only one opinion that matters.âÂ
There was one man you felt natural around, one who you felt you could speak your mind around and not be judged. One man that youâd fallen in love with, that surely hated you in return for what youâd done to him.Â
Your voice came out as little more than a whisper. âWhat should I do, Mother?âÂ
âYou know what you must do,â she said softly. âAll I can do is support you.âÂ
-
Youâd rubbed your palms on your dress at least fifteen times since youâd arrived. A fruitless effort, considering you were wearing gloves, but you could not stand still.Â
Your conversation with Lord Cardew had taken everything out of you, your dance with him even more soâan especially damning fate seemed ahead of you. But you could tune him out well enough, at least.Â
It was an entirely different deal when the Bridgertons showed up.Â
Violet walked in arm and arm with Anthony and Benedict, and Colin had a loose hold on Eloise. And to make matters worse, Daphne Bridgerton, alongside her husband the Duke of Hastings, were making an appearance. What an honor, to have the chance to embarrass yourself in front of such highly ranking nobles.Â
Eloise branched off immediately after they passed the threshold, much to the protests of her mother, but your mother immediately pulled you in their direction. You could only imagine her thoughtsâif she could get the Duke of Hastings touting for the Worthings, that would make things much easier. Â
Anything for the optics, you supposed. But when you met Anthonyâs eyes for the first time, you had to avert your gaze. He just looked so damn sad.Â
âIt is good to see you again, Violet,â your mother said. âAnd it is an honor, Duke and Duchess Hastings.â The both of you curtsied, and you could see the Dukeâs slight smile.Â
âI consider it my honor to meet the woman who has been the center of such conversation this season,â he said. You felt the heat rise to your cheeks, and thankfully Violet stepped in.Â
âIt is good to see you as well, Cecilia.â Violet smiled as she looked at you. âEspecially you, my dear.âÂ
You bowed your head. âThank you, Lady Bridgerton, Duke Hastings. I am grateful to be here.âÂ
Benedict smiled, the notion warmer than anything you deserved. âYou look lovely, Miss Worthing. Especially for someone who escaped death with such recency.â
Anthonyâs eyes remained on you the entire time, and more than anything you wished you could read this mind. The man probably hated you, and he had every right to do so. You just wished your feelings for him werenât so insurmountable.Â
You swallowed the lump in your throat and smiled as believably as you could. âThank you, Mister Bridgerton. You also look well.â
Your mother nudged your shoulder and your gaze met Anthonyâs once more. He still hadnât looked away from you.Â
You bowed your head once more. âLord Bridgerton. It⊠is good to see you.â
No wonder you actually ended up falling in love with Anthony. It was the only way anyone could believe this ruseâyou were quite an awful actress.Â
Anthony lowered his head as well, his poise stiff. âA pleasure, Miss Worthing.â
âWeâre glad to see youâre doing well,â Violet said, her smile a bit thin. You could only imagine the conversation that would occur between her and your mother later. âYou caused us all quite a scare.â
âOh, Anthony was so worried,â Daphne said, pressing a hand to her chest. âIâm thankful we have the chance to attend this ball so I could see you in person.âÂ
âIâve recovered well,â you nodded, and you looked at Violet. âMy family and I thank you immensely for your kindness and your doctorâs care. Weâll be in your debt endlessly.â
âThere is no need for that,â Violet said. âIt is enough that you are still here.â
Your cheeks burned but you tried to smile anyways. You wanted to burrow into a hole and never come out. It seemed the Bridgertons were capable of endless grace in public when they surely had to despise you.Â
âEloise has run off somewhere over near the strings,â Benedict provided in the silence. âIâm sure she would appreciate your companionship tonight.â
You glanced at your mother and she nodded, and your smile at Benedict was much more genuine. âOf course. Iâve been meaning to talk with her.âÂ
You mouthed thank you to him when your mother could not see, and he nodded. Heâd always been so decent to you.Â
You could not help but glance at Anthony as you went, and his gaze followed you. He would resent you if he had any sense, but it seemed the oppositeâthe sadness in his eyes was fatal.
You took a glass of lemonade from the refreshments table when you passed it, needing something to do with your hands. You found your way to Eloiseâs side soon enough, and her eyes lit up when she caught sight of you.
âIt is so good to see you,â she breathed. âIâve only just arrived, and Iâve already had to fend off suitors. They just cannot seem to understand I hold such little care for them.âÂ
âI am just as glad to see you,â you admitted. âI do not think I can get through this night alone.âÂ
âI cannot imagine why,â Eloise said sarcastically. âIâve heard the news. And I must say, it is your poorest decision this season.â
Your laugh was mostly out of surprise, and you nearly dropped the flute of lemonade you were holding. You were on edge far more than you expectedâyou almost wished your glass was full of champagne.Â
âAt least somebody is speaking plainly,â you murmured, your gaze distant and unfocused. âI think the rest of your family must hate me, but theyâre all too kind to say it.âÂ
Eloise frowned. âWhy would any of them hate you?âÂ
Your grip tightened on your glass. âBecause I caused an immense scandal and then ended things with Anthony?â
She huffed a laugh, her eyebrows now rising. âOur family has weathered many a scandal, and we are still here. Or have you forgotten how Daphneâs dearest husband chose to court her?â Â
âThat is different,â you insisted.Â
âI think it is worse, actually,â Eloise said plainly. âSimon is a duke, and Anthony nearly killed him before Daphne knocked some sense into him.â She chuckled and shook her head. âTruly, it was a disaster. We Bridgertons have a knack for them.âÂ
âAs do I,â you said with a loose laugh. âI was stabbed, Eloise. I nearly died in your brotherâs arms.âÂ
âAnd we nearly died in our drawing room,â she said. âAnthony, most of all. He cares for you immensely.âÂ
âSurely he cannot,â you insisted. âNot after what Iâve done.âÂ
âI am not blind,â Eloise said, âand neither are you. So do not demerit our intelligence and pretend as if you do not see it.âÂ
âIâ I know.â You wrapped your arms around your midsection, and you grimaced as the jewelry on your wrists brushed against your skin. You were covered head to toe in finery that didnât belong to you, and you itched from the inside out. âBut I donât know where to go from here.âÂ
âItâs quite obvious, isnât it?â Eloise looked across the room, where Lord Cardew stood talking to your mother, and then over at her brother, who couldnât have been less interested in the lady trying to strike up conversation with him. Then her gaze fell to you. âYouâve got a choice to make.âÂ
âIâve already ruined things,â you murmured. âIâ I canât just back out of this.â
âI can tell you that you certainly havenât ruined things with my brother. And Lady Whistledownâs speculation is the only thing binding you to that lecher.â Eloise shrugged. âYouâve already broken off one courtship. Whatâs another?â
Your eyes met Anthonyâs from across the room. Once again, heâd already been looking at you. You averted your gaze quickly, feeling the heat rush to your face, and you tried to steady your breathing. He had no right to still have such an effect on you.Â
âI need some air,â you murmured. âWill youââ
âOf course,â Eloise said. âYou are simply touching things up in the powder room.â
You nodded your thanks and slipped out of the ballroom, finally able to drop the facade youâd been trying to uphold. You truly felt as if you were overheating, and the cool air was hardly of aid once you reached the outdoors.
Everything was all wrongâyour dress, this damned tiara, the bracelets and the necklaces and every jewel that Cardew thought he could buy you with.Â
It all belonged to him. You would not be another prize on his shelf.Â
You couldnât help yourself. You began to shed the jewelry as your pace sped up, ripping bangles from your wrists and pendants from your neckâby the time you reached a deserted area of the gardens, you were considerably lighter and considerably close to tears.Â
You let out a frustrated sob as you slammed your fists against some artistic stone structure. It earned you nothing but pain, but it grounded you in some strange way. You tore off your gloves and threw them to the ground, a shaky breath escaping you as you screwed your eyes shut and pressed your palms to your forehead.Â
You could not marry traditionally, you could not follow through with your feelings for Anthony, and now you could not follow through with this ill-advised plan.Â
Were you truly this useless? To bring ruin to two families with your knack for destroying things for it all to amount to nothing? You waxed poetic about the life you thought you deserved to live, about going to university and gaining your independence and never marrying, and yet here you were, near tears in the gardens of the ball you were meant to reenter society at.Â
âMiss Worthing.â
The whispered words blared through the silence, and you knew who it was without having to turn around. It still sent a shock through you, your breathing faltering for a moment. Your eyes stayed shut.Â
âWhy are you here?â you asked, your voice watery.Â
âYou do not know me if you think there is anywhere else I would be,â he said.Â
âHow did you find me?â
âI followed the trail of jewels. Youâve left an awfully expensive path in your wake.â
âAll of it is worthless,â you mumbled, finally letting your hands drop. âIt all belongs to Lord Cardew.â
âYouâll have made a magpie very happy.âÂ
âEnough with the jokes,â you said. âWhy are you here?âÂ
âWhy do you think?â Anthony asked with a slight laugh.Â
âI do not know,â you responded. âThat is why I asked.âÂ
âI am here because I want to talk to you,â he said. âYou cannot just avoid me for the rest of the season.â
You turned away. âI can try.â
âI will not let you,â Anthony enunciated. âI will not let you make the biggest mistake of your life because you believe it is your duty.â
âIf you are here to change my mind, you are wasting your time,â you said stiffly.Â
âI donât believe I have to do anything,â Anthony said. âIt looks as if youâve come to the conclusion yourself.âÂ
âAnd what makes you think that?â
âYou have not even glanced in Cardewâs direction this entire night,â he said. âYouâve been looking at me instead.âÂ
âBecause I have felt your eyes on me with every moment.âÂ
Anthony huffed. âCan you blame me? This is the first time I have seen you since that night.âÂ
âThen you should remember my words from that night,â you bit out.Â
âWhy are you so intent on pushing me away?â Anthony begged.Â
You scoffed. âWhy are you so intent on bothering me?â
âBecause I cannot stand here and watch you marry another!â he exclaimed.
Your brows furrowed and you turned around. Anthony stood in front of you, his outfit impeccable but not at all looking put together. Desperation colored his eyes, and you saw how truly undone heâd become.Â
âIâ I thought I could, but I cannot.â He shook his head, a muscle working in his jaw as he glanced away. âEvery moment you are in the vicinity of that man is a test of my strength. And I do not know how strong I am.âÂ
âI donât understand,â you said hollowly. âYou should hate me.âÂ
âI could never hate you,â Anthony murmured. âI thought I could, when you first told me of your plans, butâ but I could hardly even dislike you.â A wistful smile tugged at his lips as he shook his head. âMy mother had been bothering me for nearly a decade to find a wife and settle down, but I thought love was a foolâs game. I would have my fun as a bachelor, and then settle down with the most advantageous match. There was no need for further emotional baggageâwhen you love, you can lose. And I refused to lose again.âÂ
For a moment, your heart stopped in your chest. He lost his father, he nearly lost you, and then you pushed him away like he meant nothing.Â
âAnthonyââ you whispered, but he shook his head.Â
âPlease,â he said. âI have a lot to say.âÂ
You nodded, and he did as well.Â
âOur deal was perfect for that. You were nothing but my sisterâs nuisance of a friendâa bad influence that I could never see as more.â You could not help your soft laugh, and Anthonyâs smile turned a bit more genuine.Â
âBut then we spent more time together. I⊠truly began to know you.â He shook his head with a chuckle. âYou shattered every preconception I had of you. I began to look forward to our meetings, to our promenadesâI would get home from calling on you and could think only of the next time I would see you.âÂ
âThroughout it all, you made me realize I was worthy of love,â he said. âYouâ you made me realize that I wanted it. That I wanted you.â His throat bobbed, and you could see his eyes glistening. âThat I loved you.âÂ
You could hardly find the strength to speak. You felt as if you could melt into a puddle at his feet just from his words. You were so intent on avoiding Anthony because you couldnât stand the thought of hurting him anymoreâ you believed he would be better off without you, without the scandal youâd dragged him into.Â
But he⊠he loved you.Â
He loved you just as you loved him.Â
âI do not expect you to share any of my notions, and I know you value your freedom more than anything,â Anthony murmured. âSo if it is not me you wish to be with, I understand, and I will accept it without complaint. I just beg of youâdo not become that wretched manâs wife.âÂ
All you could do was stare at him for a moment more, words beyond your reach before you finally managed to speak through your emotions.Â
âI tried to tell myself the exact same thing,â you said softly. âThat you could not be happy with me. That I could never be happy chained to anotherâtruly, that I could never love. Not when freedom is what I have always desired most. But AnthonyâŠâ you moved forward until you were mere centimeters apart, unable to suppress the shiver that ran through you at the proximity, âI have never felt more free than when I am with you.âÂ
âMissââ Anthony started, but he paused and shook his head before saying your first name instead. His eyes were softer than anything. âAre you trulyâŠ?âÂ
âI could never fathom you sharing my feelings,â you said thickly. âThat is why I pushed you away. But I love you, Anthony Bridgerton. And I think I have loved you for quite some time.âÂ
You swallowed the sudden lump in your throat, turning away so as to not betray the fullness of your emotions, and though you opened your mouth to provide some excuse, you were not granted the chance.Â
Anthonyâs hand encircled your wrist, pulling you back around, and just as soon did you feel his lips against yours. The tightness in your chest dissolved almost immediately as you all but fell into him, Anthony wrapping his arms around you to support you as your hands found purchase on anything they could.Â
Your focus became devoted solely to the feeling of him, his soft lips against yours even as they plied for access. Anthony held you as if his only desire were to protect you from the world, and it made you feel a way youâd never even imagined. Only when air became a necessity did he pull away, his labored breaths in contrast to the pure adoration in his eyes.Â
âNever in a thousand years did I think you would feel the same,â he murmured, his hands cupping your face on either side as he gazed into your eyes. âI thought myself a fool, falling for the one woman I could not have. Youâve no idea the relief it brings to hear you share my feelings.â
âI suppose I am just as foolish as you,â you breathed. Your heart felt as if it could burst.Â
The corners of his lips quirked up in a smile. âI cannot imagine what my mother would thinkâthat after so long spent searching for a wife, I fell for the one woman who never wanted the title.âÂ
You let out an airy laugh, relishing the feeling of his skin against yours. âNor did I see myself falling for the one man who resented the chains of marriage as much as I.âÂ
Anthony pressed his lips against yours once more, and your hands traveled up until they tangled in his hair. You kissed until you were nearly breathless, but Anthony still managed to pull a very unladylike sound out of you as he bowed his head, kissing down the line of your jaw, your neck, until his teeth nipped your skin just above your decolletage.
âAnthony,â you gasped, clenching your fingers as they buried themselves further into his dark locks. You had never been this close with a man before, never this intimate â you never thought you would even desire it.Â
But Anthony lit a fire inside of you that only he could quench, and yet the only thing he seemed to do was stoke it further. It was equally maddening and dizzying, the control he so effortlessly had over you.Â
âI never knew how much I would delight in hearing you say my name,â he murmured, his lips trailing against your skin. âNo more Lord Bridgerton, I beg of you.â
âI should think Iâd like to hear you begââ you breathed, but Anthony cut you off yet again as he pulled you into another searing kiss. You could hardly stand it anymore as your hands fell down to his shoulders, and you pulled away for just a moment as you began desperately undoing his waistcoat, Anthony taking the hint and removing his jacket.Â
âThese buttons were not designed with the needs of a lady in mind,â you huffed in frustration, fumbling fingers failing to make progress, and Anthony chuckled breathlessly.
âHave we finally found something I best you in?â he asked, and you rolled your eyes with a smile.
âJust take it off.â
He raised an eyebrow. âIs that all?â
You groaned as you looked at him. âIf you insist on teasing me this way, Lord Bridgerton, I shall go back inside and act as if nothing has happened.â
âThere is no need for idle threats,â he defended, and you bit back your smile. Anthony made deft work of his waistcoat, and the second he tossed it aside he was back on you.Â
âBesides,â his voice was a whisper a millimeter from your ear, and warmth blazed in your core, âI believe I told you to call me Anthony.â
âAnd I believe you should have to try harder than that.â You smiled into his kiss as you trailed your nails down his back, the thin fabric of his dress shirt doing little as you felt his involuntary shiver.Â
âYouâve no idea the effect you have on me,â he groaned, once again dipping his head as he peppered even more kisses down your neck, sliding down the sleeve of your dress to allow himself better access.Â
The night air on your newly freed skin did little for you, any coolness of the breeze instantly negated by the heat of Anthony against you. Your nails dug into his back as he moved down, each spot where his lips touched your skin erupting with fire.Â
You gasped out his name, barely able to handle itâthe feeling was so foreign yet familiar, as if you had been waiting all your life for Anthony in this way.Â
You could hardly believe you nearly lost it of your own accord.Â
âIt appears I do not have to try hard at all,â he said, âthe way you cry out for me.âÂ
You laughed breathlessly, though his words were indeed true. You knew, in this moment, that you would do anything for Anthony Bridgertonâand he would do anything for you. âHow I fell for a man as irritating as you, I havenât the slightest.âÂ
You caught the slightest glimpse of his grin before he ducked his head yet again, and he had only just begun pushing both sleeves of your dress down when a womanâs voice could be heard behind you.Â
âAnthonyâ oh!âÂ
The unfamiliar voice struck fear into your heart you had never felt the likes of before. Anthony moved away from you quicker than youâd ever seen, you just as hasty as you tugged the sleeves of your dress back to where they belonged and attempted to smooth out everything that Anthony had so easily sullied.Â
Youâd never imagined this was how your reputation would be ruined, with Anthony Bridgerton in the gardens of some ball, but when you finally had the sense to look and see who had caught you in a most uncompromising position, you could hardly stifle your incredulous laugh.Â
âSister?â Anthony questioned in disbelief, so many emotions warring on his face you had to turn away to cover up your growing grin.Â
âAnthony,â Daphne greeted in kind, fighting to conceal her smile as her eyes drifted to you. âMiss Worthing.âÂ
âYour Grace!â Your shaky fingers were hardly of use to you as you pulled your gloves back up to where they belonged and once again ran your hands down the skirt of your dress to smooth out the wrinkles. Your cheeks burned under her gaze and you were innately aware of the fire underneath your skin brought about by Anthonyâs touch in contrast to the cool night air. âWhat brings you here?âÂ
âMother was quite⊠nervous about tonight,â she explained. âShe indulged in one too many glasses of champagne, so she is taking her leave with Benedict for aid. She requested I find you to alert you of her departure, but it seems she was not the one whose disappearance should have been questioned.âÂ
âIâm sure you know this is quite compromising.â Thinly veiled amusement crossed Daphneâs face as she eyed you pointedly. âI am afraid you must marry him at once Miss Worthing, else I shall have to duel you to protect my brotherâs honor.âÂ
You laughed breathlessly as Anthony looked up at the sky, his face turning a deeper shade of red than you had ever seen. âYour Grace, are you suggesting that I have ruined him?âÂ
âIndeed I am,â she confirmed, and you could see how it took every muscle of her being to retain a serious image. âThis is not a light matter, miss. I do not understand why you are laughing.âÂ
âDaphne,â Anthony groaned, avoiding her eyes as he occupied himself with his jacket. âWhy do you insist on being a nuisance?âÂ
âAnthony,â she inflected his name the same way he did hers, âI cannot have this woman sullying your name! I know it was of no will of your own, but this can not stand as is. But do not worry; I am prepared to defend your honor to my last breath.âÂ
âMy sincerest apologies for what I have done, Duchess Hastings,â you responded gravely. âI am prepared for pistols at dawn.âÂ
Anthony huffed as he buttoned his waistcoat back up then went to retrieve his jacket from the bushes. âYou exaggerate, the both of you. This cannot be what I was like last season.âÂ
âYou were worse, brother. But do not worry,â Daphne said with a grin, âI should think a taste of your own practices is only fair after all you put Simon and me through.â
Anthony sighed with a slight roll of his eyes. âI⊠suppose⊠that it is what I deserve.âÂ
âThank you, brother,â she said. âI only wish we had a witness just so your confession is forever remembered.â
âI wish Mother had not sent you to seek me out,â he responded dryly.Â
You and Daphne exchanged smiles with each other before your expression sobered slightly. â I ask quite a bit of you with this, Your Grace, but⊠may I count on your discretion? I know we jest, but my reputation truly could not handle something like this. I do not know ifâŠâ you glanced at Anthony before looking back to her, âif we are yet ready to seal our union.âÂ
âOf course,â Daphne nodded, and a relieved smile tugged at your lips. âI shall not tell a soul.âÂ
âThank you eternally, Your Grace,â you expressed, but at your short curtsy she shook her head.
âPlease, call me Daphne.â She offered a smile of her own, slightly coy. âAfter what I have just witnessed, Iâve no doubt you will be joining our family soon enough.âÂ
âSister!â Anthony scolded, and when you glanced at him his entire face was dusted pink, even the tips of his ears. It was enough to make you swoon. âYou cannot just say things whenever you see fit.âÂ
Daphne merely shrugged, joyfully indifferent to her brotherâs protests. âI outrank you now, dearest brother â I believe I can say whatever I see fit, particularly when it is the truth.â
âYou are truly impossible,â Anthony muttered as he shook his head.Â
Daphne just smiled before she looked back at you. âI believe it best if the two of you leave at separate times, so as to not allow room for any rumors. Miss Worthing, you should go first and return to your mother; you can claim you simply needed fresh air. Anthony and I will stroll around the grounds for a bit before allowing ourselves to be seen â we are simply catching up after such a stretch spent at Clyvedon.â
You nodded, taking a deep breath as you smoothed your mussed hair and wrinkled dress for the last time. Anthony certainly did a number on you, in more ways than one. âThank you again, Yourââ you caught yourself, correcting your error with a small smile, âDaphne.Â
âYou may count on me in the future whenever I am in London,â she reassured. âIt is my hope anyway that I shall be able to welcome you to the family officially.â
âDaphne!â Anthony exclaimed yet again, glaring at her. âMight you take your leave so we may have a moment alone?âÂ
âI believe you just had quite a few moments alone,â Daphne said, but a pointed look from her brother had her conceding with a smile. âAlright. I will be by the trees when you need me.âÂ
Anthony turned to you with an odd look in his eyes when Daphne was out of hearing distance, and when he did eventually speak, his voice was far softer than usual.Â
âDo you truly believe I would not marry you?â he asked, and the underlying hurt in his voice did not go unnoticed. âEven if there were not the risk of a scandal, I would not hesitate. My entire heart lies with you.â
âIt is not you, Anthony,â you sighed with a slight shake of your head. âI do not⊠I do not know if I am even capable of marriage.âÂ
He frowned. âWhat do you mean?âÂ
âI have spent my entire life running from it,â you said, chuckling softly, âand yet, here I am, the one thing I never thought I would be.â
âIn love,â Anthony realized, and you nodded.Â
âIt has always been easy enough to denounce marriage when Iâd never experienced anything of the like. The union of my parents was for convenience rather than love, and for as long as Iâve been alive my mother has tried to drill it into my head that my feelings did not matter â so long as the man had the means to provide for me and was not completely awful, he was satisfactory.â
âA future like thatâ it was so completely absurd to me that denouncing it all was the easiest thing in the world. And then I nearly died and my entire world changed, and I decided that Cardew was the best option to allow myself to completely separate emotion from marriage, but nowâŠâ you looked at Anthony, feeling more vulnerable now than ever. âI have found a love in you Iâve never thought possible, and I cannot stop imagining a life with you. And that terrifies me more than anything.âÂ
âButâŠâ you trailed off again and you turned away from him as you wrapped your arms around yourself. âBut I do not know how to approach my future, especially one where we are so closely intertwined.âÂ
Silence hung in the air for a noticeable period before Anthony cleared his throat, and it was obvious the care he put into his words.Â
âYou know I never imagined I would marry for love. Truly, I never intended itâI expected to be miserable in marriage. I saw it as nothing more than another duty to take care of. I believed that love was trivial, a ridiculous distraction. You are the one who made me see differently.âÂ
You turned around with slightly wide eyes, your arms wrapped around your midsection doing little to ward off the cool night air that seemed far colder than it was before. Anthonyâs gaze never left yours, the softness in his own at odds with the pure, unbridled passion.Â
âI love you. Though I have only just allowed myself to accept the fact, you are someone that I cannot imagine living the rest of my days without. There wasâŠâ his throat bobbed as his voice crackled slightly, âthere was a moment when I feared the worst, that you would permanently disappear from my life. And ever since you were all but brought back from the dead, I have known that you are the only woman I wish to be with. It is why as soon as I left you, I asked my mother for this.âÂ
Anthony took a box out of his pocket, and you gasped as he got down on one knee, your hands flying up to cover your mouth.Â
âThis is the ring my father proposed to my mother with, and their love was beyond anything I have seen before. But it is the love that I feel for you, something so strong, so overwhelmingâ something I never thought I would experience. And yet here I am, madly in love with the one woman who scorned me with every word, and only pursued me because of my brand as a lesser evil.âÂ
A laugh bubbled out of you, the sound slightly muffled through your gloves, and you could not help it as your eyes began to fill with tears.Â
âI admire you; all of you. The part that loves her family with every part of her being, that looks out for those with less than her when those more fortunate turn a blind eye. The part that fights for the rights of her sex when it is so much easier to just bow oneâs head, that puts her happiness on a rightful pedestalâ the part that is so terrified to share herself with others and yet deserves a love of the purest form.â
âAnd I am aware of how the unknown is a fear of yours, as it is one of mine. But I assure youââ Anthonyâs voice was filled with such passion, his eyes with such love, that you could hardly stand it, ââI will be there for you every step of the way. We will face our fears as one, and we will shape the future ourselves, not to be bound by anyone or anything.âÂ
âI do not know where my future will lead me, but I know I do not want to face a single second of it without you. If you do not feel the same, I understand, but I will not be able to live with myself if I do not at least try. It is why I ask you,â Anthony said your name with more love than ever before, âwill you marry me?â
âYes,â you sobbed, a smile breaking across your face even as tears of joy streamed down your cheeks. âYes, yes, I will marry you!â
Anthony let out a sigh of relief as he grinned, and after he slid the ring on your finger he stood up and pulled you into a breathless kiss. Nothing picture perfect like youâd heard about as a young girl, the kind of effortless gentlemanâs actâ Anthony kissed you with pure passion, love, desire, and it nearly brought you to your knees. You thought it would have, were it not for Anthonyâs strong arms wrapped around your waist, pressing you against him and supporting you.Â
You could hardly believe the same man who treated you as if you were glass after your injury was the one standing before you now, the one who handled you in such a way that could get the both of you exiled were anyone to seeâthe one that you thought hated you. Â
And you were more than willing to allow it to continue, to surrender yourself fully to your baser instincts, when you remembered something that made your eyes widen.
âYour sister,â you murmured between kisses until you finally managed to pull away, albeit reluctantly. âDaphne is still waiting.â
Anthony laughed breathlessly as he pulled you back in, and your earlier protest was shown to be completely nonsensical. âLet her wait.âÂ
You grinned as he peppered kisses down your neck, enjoying the sensation until you pushed him away. âAnthony.âÂ
He groaned. âWhy must you be a better person than I?â
âBelieve when I say it pains me,â you said. âBut the last thing we need is yet another scandal by my hand.âÂ
âLet them know,â he said, taking your hands in his. âLet all of London know that I love you, that we will be wed. I do not care what we have to face so long as we face it together.âÂ
âThe thought has never been so tempting,â you murmured. âBut you should at least alert your sister. It would be improper to make her wait out here all night for nothing.âÂ
His grip tightened on your hands. âSo you do wish to leave together?âÂ
âAnthony, I just accepted your proposal,â you said with a laugh. âI wish to spend the rest of our lives together.âÂ
âI believe tonight is a good place to start, then,â he grinned.Â
Anthony would not let you leave his side, so you went to Daphne together. First she saw your smile, then her gaze drifted down to your handâshe looked knowingly at her brother, though she could not hide her smile either.Â
âIt would appear as if I was right,â she mused. âI am always right when it comes to you though, Anthony, so it is not much of a surprise.âÂ
âDo not mock me,â Anthony said. âI could have left you waiting by the bushes all night.âÂ
âIf you had not proposed to her after the conversation we had the other day, I would have questioned your sense,â Daphne said. âTrust me, I would not have been here long.âÂ
Your eyebrows rose. âWhat conversation?âÂ
âWe do not need to start on this,â he said with a pointed look at his sister. âI have already bared my entire soul tonight. I do not need my sister embarrassing me further.âÂ
âOh, I would never,â Daphne drawled. âAfter all, there will be plenty of time for us to gossip together when I come to visit you all.âÂ
âWonât you be busy with your child?â Anthony asked.Â
She shrugged. âYou may be busy with one as well by the time I see you again.âÂ
You looked at Anthony only to find his gaze was already on you. There must have been some shred of doubt in your eyes, because he only took your hand in his.Â
âI meant what I said,â he murmured. âWe will take things as slowly as you desire.âÂ
You swallowed the sudden lump in your throat and nodded as you squeezed his handsâyou knew what was expected of you as a wife, and you wanted it with Anthony, but you could not lie and say that his reassurances did not bring you relief.Â
âMy best wishes to the new Viscountess Bridgerton,â Daphne said, her voice full of affection as she clasped her hands together. âIt is an honor to have you join our family.âÂ
âIt is an honor to be accepted,â you said, bowing your head.Â
Daphne smiled. âI assume you want to reveal this on your own terms.âÂ
You nodded. âIâve dealt with enough attention from the ton lately.âÂ
âI am afraid to say that will not go away,â she said wryly. âBut I will cover for the two of you.âÂ
You pressed a hand to your chest. âThank you.âÂ
âIt is only proper to welcome my sister in such a way,â she said with a wink, and you could not help but smile. âNow run along, you two. Before rumors start.âÂ
Anthony chuckled, and the two of them embraced before you started on your way.
âViscountess Bridgerton,â Anthony murmured in your ear. âI love the sound of that.âÂ
You hummed in agreement. âAs do I.âÂ
You laid your head on Anthonyâs shoulder as you walked back with your hands intertwinedânot to the ball, but to a carriage for the promise of time alone. You glanced over at Anthony and he smiled, and you pulled him to a stop as you pressed a kiss to his lips. He responded with hunger, the same vigor he displayed when you first stepped into the gardens together, and you could hardly believe he still had it left in him.Â
Far too many minutes passed as you kissed and kissed and kissed, not a single care in the world of someone catching you. What could they do? Youâd already endured enough scandal to weather anything, and there was no way to punish you and Anthony â you were already engaged.Â
Your lips were sure to be bruised once you finally pulled away, Anthony gazing at you with complete adoration as he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear.Â
âI cannot believe you are to be my wife,â he murmured.Â
âI cannot believe you are to be my husband,â you breathed. âWhen will we reveal it?âÂ
âTomorrow,â he said, intertwining your hands with his own. âTomorrow, we will tell everyone, and we will deal with everything that comes along with it. But tonightâŠâÂ
âIt is our secret.â
Anthony nodded. âTonight, we start the rest of our lives together.âÂ
âThe rest of our lives together,â you murmured.Â
Truly, it sounded like a dream. Months ago you could not even consider the thought of marriage without an air of disgustânow, here with Anthony, you could not stop thinking about the fact that you were to be his wife.Â
The rest of your life with Anthony would be anything but simple.
And yet, somehow, you could not think of anything more perfect.
-
taglist, only bc this series has been going on since i still had a taglist lmao. @ifilwtmfc @readers-post @fangirling-galore @funkydinosaurs @baby-i-am-fireproof @mess-is-my-aesthetic @likeballet @mdkfh @brezzybfan @magical-spit @lafy-taffy @miss-celestial-being @mercurysrhapsody @evilsailorsenshi @mainstreambitchlife @aangsupremacy @chloepluto1306 @lostaudfound @panhoeofmanyfandoms @blhemmings @my-acrylic-heart @seninjakitey @vlodi @arianagrandes-things @preciousbabypeter @youraliendaddo @stupidlittlebei @illuminwtesz @eringaitskill @otheliesstuff @users09 @chloepluto1306 @lady-loki-barnes-djarin @m-rae23 @the-horror-and-the-wild-simp @diemdurantia @theyoungestchild0w0 @mschievousx @alwaysreading1019 @ibelieveindragons141 @pretzywetzy
#anthony bridgerton x reader#anthony bridgerton x you#anthony bridgerton fic#bridgerton x reader#bridgerton fic#anthony bridgerton fanfic#x reader#bridgerton imagine#sadie writes
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Your writing was adorable! I have a headcanon request for TWST. Feel free to ignore if it's not interesting, I won't mind. (ïżŁâœïżŁ)=3
Lilia, Leona, Azul (or whomever as long as Lilia is there)'s reaction to crush!reader sleepily telling them they want to marry them one day.
I'm a sap for mushy things. ËÍá”ËÍ
A sleepy confession
Thank you so much for the request, it's adorable!! and of course, thank you for the compliments too! I'm a sucker for mushy things too, so this was so much fun to write!
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Crush!Reader sleepily telling him, they want to marry him / Part two
Characters: Lillia, Leona, Azul
Format: Headcanons
Warnings: None that i can think off
Lillia
-you probably found silver asleep somewhere comfortable and instead of waking him up like usual (cause you're a good friend) you decide to also lay down and sleep... You most likely had History with professor Trein before this.
-Lillia just happened to be nearby, or maybe he was keeping an eye on silver, yk, like a good dad :D
- If you're napping under a tree, he might just be sitting on one of the branches
-You'd sleepily look up to him on the branches, as the old fae smiles down at you, and you, probably already half a sleep and maybe even thinking it's a dream, mumble out a soft "I wanna marry you one day.."Â
-poor guy almost fell out off the tree
-you can't just do that to his old heart!! You can and you did
-his expression would soften, like he'd still be smiling, but it wouldn't be his typical trickster kinda smile (please tell me you know what i mean)
-Despite his usual attitude, I feel like he was very worried about loving you. I'm a huge believer in the Idea that fae usually only fall in love once, so after Meleanor, he believed that was it, he'd never love again. And then you came into his life, like a shining star, guiding him out of the darkness. Â
-While he was grateful that he got a second chance at love, especially with someone as amazing as you, it's also nerve wrecking for him. The last and only time before this, he had his heart broken and ended up raising her son. Just the thought of the same thing happening again terrified him.
-But after what you just said, he won't need to worry about that anymore, right?
-Now he just needs to come up with the best way to confess... maybe he could cook you something!Â
Leona
-Due to Leona being a bit of a tsundere, I don't feel like he'd get you to cuddle/sleep with him before officially dating
-BUT, if you two got paired together for a project, especially if it's in the botanical garden, chances are very high, you are doing the project and he's napping
-and doing a project by yourself gets you tired, especially one meant for magic as a magicless student, so you eventually lie down next to him
-due to his sensitive hearing, he lazily opens eyes, and sees you, already half asleep, looking at him, confusing him at first not that he's complaining, till.. "Despite you making me do this project by myself, i somehow i still wanna marry you some day" and just like that you're asleep.
-He, on the other hand, is suddenly very wide awake.Â
-what?? you didn't mean that, right?? that's just the tiredness speaking, right?? you couldn't have meant that, right? why, or rather how, could you like him of all people?....He can't imagine being anyone's, let alone your, first choice. He's so used to being second.
-For the first time in forever, he is fully awake and can't go back to sleep, just what are you doing to him, Herbivore?Â
-But this means you like him back, right? alright fine, he'll put some work into confessing, just don't expect anything to grand
-He'd still be awake once you wake up again, much to your confusion, but still deliberately refuse to help. Not a word of what you said is spoken, but if you look closely enough you'll see the blush on his cheeks!
Azul
-You wanted to rest after a long day, maybe even after a long shift at the mostro lounge, and Azul was gracious enough to let you rest on one of the couches in the VIP room, while he worked. He actually wanted to appear like a gentleman in front of you and impress you.
-You can't convince me that those couches aren't comfortable. Which is why you almost immediately fall asleep the moment you lay down.
-But before you do, you make one last comment "I already want to marry you one day as is, but if it means I get to rest like this every night, I'll buy the ring tomorrow"
-If a student walked in right now, they might just confuse him with a crashed pc; or maybe with riddle, considering how red he is
-Just completely stops everything he's doing, he's in shock. he doesn't believe he can actually be loved
-It genuinely shocks him so much that you actually like him back, let alone want to marry him, but he can't say he isn't happy! So him being even more of a gentleman to you and giving you countless discounts worked! (You actually already liked him before that! but he was to busy being insecure to notice)
-Immediately starts working on a relationship contract for you two, hell, you said you want to marry him, right?? might as well start working on the marriage certificate!
-He continues to be absolutely flustered as he writes the two contracts, if either of the twins saw him right now, he'd never hear the end of it!
-Prepare to be asked to dinner at the most romantic table in the mostro lounge with Azul, where he will then ask you out and discusses your relationship as if it was a business meeting :)
Ahhhh my first request, thank you so much again for your kind words and the adorable request, I truly hope i lived up to it's greatness <3
I'm still in book 4, so i tried to write Lilia as in-character as possible based on what i saw of him during events and from other writers :)
feedback is welcomed, just be Kind! Hope you all have a lovely day/night!
#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland headcanons#twst headcanons#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#lillia vanrouge x reader#lillia vanrouge#leona kingsholar x reader#lillia x reader#leona x reader#leona kingscholar#twst leona#azul ashengrotto x reader#azul x reader#azul ashengrotto#twst azul#headcanons#x reader#writing#request#requests#paradise writing âđ»
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Workshop Fun
Summary: This is a short one-shot (7021 words) where the Reader (female) has an established relationship with Art the Clown, and has been kiiiind of collaborating with him passively. Reader is wearing a dress for the sole purpose of easy access. Reader has a vulva and breasts.Â
Contents: Biting, light spanking, ...phone... sex? Having an unknowing participant on the other line is the only way I can word it, light spanking, lots of making out, clothed sex, BDSM, Art being cruel, p in v penetration, finger sucking and light body worship
Authorâs notes: Sorry what took me so long to do this, Iâve been sitting on this for years! Male version will be out in a few days. This is LIGHTLY proofread, so keep your expectations at a level where you wonât be surprised if thereâs any mistakes. Also once again I am an Art the Clown front zipper truther for my clothed sex kink.
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You loved him.
Did he kill people? Yes. Did he sometimes allude to killing you as well? Absolutely. Has he acted on it yet? Not fully, but you could tell that sometimes he had that compulsion to go through with it, when heâd get that twinkle in his eye.
 Especially when you were up close and personal with him, your bodies merely inches apart, sometimes with him even holding a weapon in hand. Heâs a wild animal. A force of evil locked away in the confines of a corporeal body made of flesh and bone.
And yet, all the same, you loved him. The way that his hands would travel across your flesh and explore the parts of you that you never let anyone else. Sometimes heâd leave bruises, other times scratches. Then there were the bite marks. Each intimate encounter would leave you in a different state of mess. He was the lover who was like a cat. One day heâd be here, gone the next. You couldnât put a thumb on the patterns.
The waits were long, but youâre loyal, and youâre patient. You didnât really have much of a choice in the matter. Youâd wait until the ends of the earth for him. Sometimes during the months that he wasnât here, youâd dream of him. All of these little fantasies youâd have in your head would sometimes come to visit you behind your closed lids, where reality had no limitations. It would make the ache feel less. Every time that heâd come back, you made sure to find him as quickly as possible the second you heard whisperings pertaining to sightings of him, or any kind of crime scene that felt like it had his signature on it. Sometimes heâd find you first.
Art wasnât someone who was very materialistic. And money meant next to nothing to Artâthe personification of evil had very little need for the vast kinds of desires that plagued man.
But he wasnât necessarily immune to the pleasures of the flesh, you learned. Despite how for the most part, he remained heavily uninterested in intimacy, he had a few moments here and there, and you capitalized on them when you could. You had a feeling tonight would be one of those nights.
Or, well, you hoped.
Worst case scenario heâd turn you away or ignore any advances, and he has a few times. And that was okay.
You came into his hideout tonight with confidence instilled in you, but yet the excitement still makes your stomach do flips. Itâs been too long, and the fire within your chest is reignited. You feel passion, you feel love so strong that itâs enough to keep you up at night, and it has happened plenty of times before. You wonder if heâs got some sort of spell over you, and youâd believe it if that were the case. Youâve never fallen so madly, deeply, for anyone before like you have him. It could be enough to make you physically ill if you thought about how much you loved him. Such a passion came with such a detriment to you.
Past the damaged doors of a since abandoned fairly abandoned warehouse, you have a smooth descent down the stairs, leading you to a type of basement setting. Thereâs plenty of water dripping. Rats squeaking as they chitter and skitter along. You catch glimpses of them in the dim lighting, but they donât bother you. As long as you didnât see a bunch of them with their tails tied together, you wager youâll be pretty okay.
You dressed up nicely for him tonight.
You werenât really a dress kind of person, but tonight you made it an exception. It wasnât fancy or over the top, and by the love of god, it had pockets. You refused to wear heels however, whatever shoes you had that worked and didnât give you the possibility of breaking your ankle down these flights of stairs was the option you went with. Art might have found it funny if you hurt yourself, but you arenât too keen on getting yourself dinged up before he gets the chance to do it himself.
The dress was about one thingâaccessibility. Easy to lift up, easy for him to slide in right where he belonged.
You loved when he was inside of you, when youâd feel the heat of his heavy breath against the back of your neck. You run your hands over the spot where you last remember feeling the warmth of his breath. You remember being beneath him and feeling as if the very heat that he quietly exhaled felt as if it were smoldering your skin, burning you like the way the flames of hell were supposed to. If being with this clown meant that youâd be burning in the afterlife, youâd gladly bathe yourself in the inferno.
Your stomach flutters.
You shouldnât be this excited. Heâs a murderer. A killer. A man with no morals, and youâre not even sure if he was a man sometimes at all. Yet, his darkness is what drew you in. He was your safe space, and no one would dare come into that space to try and harm you so long as you were in his arms.
When you reach the bottom of the steps, you see itâa single dangling light, and illuminating this dark space is a double door that is plainly rusted. You see a bloody handprint on it. Itâs since dried.
You recognize the size of that hand, and feel slightly lighter, just in the moment.
Placing your own hand in the exact space over Artâs bloodied print, you push the door open. The door is a little on the heavy side, but with enough force, the door opens.
âArt?â You call out, making sure that your presence is acknowledged as friendly and not hostile. The room is a little darkly lit, very heavy on the minimum lighting thatâs needed to navigate in the space. It most certainly added to the creepy ambiance. Straight ahead, there sat none other than Art. His back was given to you. He was sitting on a stool, hammering away at something on his workbench. He turns his head upon hearing his name, and you see that he gives you a smile, baring his rotted discolored teeth as his eyes are closed. You can see the wrinkles form a little in the corner of his eyes when he smiles.
You liked that. You liked the details etched into his face. It added character among those otherwise gaunt features of his.
âHey, buddy.â You call out to him, and he gives you a little wave, before gesturing for you to come closer.
You approach him, and once youâre near the bench with him, you can see when youâre close enough that he gives you a once over, assessing you⊠Judging you, for what it is youâre wearing tonight.
âLike it?â You ask him, twirling from side to side so that your dress splays out a little. Itâs simple. Gets the job done. And if it got ruined? No love loss.
Artâs gaze seems fixed on you, first on your dress, then up at you. For a man who doesnât speak, his eyes seem to say all that needs to be said, as he reaches for the end of your dress and starts to lift it, until you gently smack the top of his hand. Art draws his hand back to his side immediately, glancing up at you, looking a little like a kid that was chided.
Naughty of him, trying to get a sneak peek beforehand.
âNot yet,â You tell him.
Art looks a little irritated, folding his arms across his chest and pouting. At least he seems interested tonight.
You clear your throat, and Artâs attention is still locked on you. Heâs watching you expectantly.
âYouâve settled in quite nicely.â It was just yesterday you surveyed the area on his behalf, and helped him move in properly. Already on his workbench, he has got quite a few improvised weapons heâd been working on. Your eyes go to one weapon in particular, and you point at it.
âWhatâs that?â
Art turns to look at the weapon youâve pointed out, and when he lifts it to proudly show it, itâs exactly what it looked likeâan improvised flail. Attached to a long metal rod, is a long wire, and when your eyes follow to the end of the wire, you see wrapped around in such an intricate and meticulous way are a variety of knives, serving as what would be the âspikesâ. Youâre impressed. He even hands it to you, to which you take it. Itâs got a decent weight to it, too. Not too heavy, but not too light.
âWoah.â You say, as Art watches you, quite proud of how dazzled you are. Heâs an artist at heart, you knew this. The knives have some rust on them. One of them looks stained from a previous bloody encounter. Heâs clearly working with whatever heâs got on him.
âIf anyone survives this, they better pray they donât get tetanus.â You muse, and Artâs face twists in amusement in a silent laugh. You hand the weapon back to him, and he takes it once heâs done getting in a few silent chuckles at your joke, gently placing it back down on the table.
No one escapes Art with their soul still in their body. Literal or figurative. You were either dead, or you were burdened with his encounter your entire life, both physically and mentally.
You werenât any different. Your bruises and bites and scars have been out of love. One could argue that you got off easy, but youâd argue otherwise.
Being in love with the Miles County Clown is torture in and of itself. There were nonstop dreams that came with it. It seemed as if every other week heâd plague you in your sleep. Not to mention that you had to be extremely clever to not be caught under affiliation with himâwhich was even more stress. So far, though, so good.
Heâs worth it, you tell yourself. Even if he wasnât anymore, thereâs no way you could leave. Heâd kill you. And you have zero doubts that your death wouldn't be painless.
After a few seconds of silence, you sigh.
âI wish you didnât have to leave all the time.â You begin to tell him. Artâs expression is neutral, which isnât necessarily a bad thing. His teeth are bared, as they often are. Your tone isnât one of whining, but of yearning. You know that this came with the territory, and you readily accepted his lack of presence at any given time.
But it didnât hurt to dream. Art tilts his head, watching you from where he sits curiously.
âMaybe one day we can find some place that⊠Is ours. Separate from⊠This.â You gesture towards the weapons heâs making. Every so often he hides somewhere different to prepare for the trouble he intends to cause. âA place that maybe once youâre done for the day, we both can be in to unwind. And a permanent place for you that isnât just my apartment. But like. A place for you. For us.â
Taking him to your apartment kept getting riskier and riskier each time. Also, he made it quite clear he didnât really care for your decor. Giving him his own place to make his own that he could express himself would be ideal, and it wouldnât be like a place heâd have to abandon every year. He could actually have and keep stuff⊠If he wanted to even do that.
The more you think about it, the more youâre starting to think it sounds silly. You see the way that heâs looking at you, and he appears very stern. Sharp.
Your confidence begins to drop, and as youâre about to speak again, you stammer, before laughing nervously.
âYeah. Youâre right. Sorry, that was a silly ideaâany long term space we made for you would probably get found out eventually, too. Iââ
The stool screams as itâs slid across the ground, back towards the bench when he stands up. It sounded like one of his many victims. You go quiet as heâs hovering over you, and you swallow any words that you might have wanted to tell him.
The silence is heavy. His shoulders are rising and falling, and you feel your heartbeat in your ears.
Seconds tick by and they feel more like minutes, and you canât stand it any longer. You open your mouth to speak, but youâre swiftly cut off.
Art yanks you by the collar of your dress, and forces his lips against yours.
Your eyes are wide briefly in surprise, but they close as soon as you register whatâs happening, and you moan in the kiss. Artâs a bit of a sloppy kisser, but youâve come to love it. His taste was acrid as well, but you craved the bitterness at this point, no longer gagging like you used to. As he leans forward to kiss you harder, you put more of yourself in it as well, mixing his intensity with your passion and desire thatâs been left simmering for months.
Now itâs boiling over.
Art places both of his hands on either side of your face, and itâs like heâs trying to suffocate you with his kisses, barely giving you much time to breathe in between them. Youâre getting a little lightheaded.
He pulls away from your lips to kiss you a few times on the cheek, then nuzzling his face against yours. Almost like a cat.
It gives you the chance to catch your breath. His hands reach for yours, and you let him, feeling the way that his fingers interlace with your own. You look down at the way that your fingers intertwined with his dirtied and calloused ones. He was a man who worked with his handsâin more ways than one. Those same fingers belonged to the same hands that would worship you, tear and pull at you without ever breaking you completely in half. Sometimes itâd be close, but never fully. They would sometimes draw blood when the nails would sink into your flesh and leave behind crescent marks. Other times, those hands would strangle you, smack youâslap you, and bring a sting across your body that reminded you just how alive you were. Then those same hands would caress you. Cradle you.
Heâd cut you on a few occasions, but they were never lethal. And with every cut, his tongue followed.
You feel reverence. Especially as you press a kiss to the tip of his fingersâyou kiss each one, tenderly, making eye contact with him as you do so.
Art watches knowingly. He raises his head a little so that when he watches you, heâs looking down at you, all too aware of how you worship him. And he accepts it. But only from you. Just you. No one else.
After kissing each finger, from pinkie to thumb, you stop back at his index, soft lips pressed against the pad of it. His fingers were stained. Caked in whatever gore and dirt and grime heâd touched earlier.
Not that you cared, nor would you let it stop you. Youâre a freak. Not well in the head. Youâd lick any and all of his love off of the world's sharpest blade if thatâs the only way he gave it. If he wanted you to cut your tongue on it, you would.
Bringing his index finger to your mouth, you wrap your lips around it, and watch him. He tastes exactly how youâd expectâfoul and wretched. You catch the faintest hint of iron. A taste that youâve come to associate pleasantly with him. That part feels right.
Artâs gaze is fixed on you. You canât read his thoughts, and though he doesnât speak, you recognize what that look means. Even as he observes you, teeth bared subtly, head still held high, which he inclines just slightly as you take another finger in your mouthâhis middle one.
You suck his fingers lewdly, and close your eyes. You imagine itâs his cock, even though you know that his fingers canât compare to the real deal. You push your tongue through his index and middle as you take more of him in your mouth. Art watches your tongue work around him, until he decides to press down on the muscle, effectively stopping you.
You stare at him.
Seconds linger in silence, and he relinquishes pressure off of your tongue, letting you move it freely again.
And you do. You hold his hand and go back to kissing his fingers before fellating them. Index first. Then the middle. And finally the ring fingerâall three at once. The taste of iron is stronger. You sigh a gentle moan as you pull your head back and give him back his hand. You kiss at the tips of his fingers again. As youâre about to take his fingers a third time, he leans forward instead, his lips taking yours. You feel the way that he seizes both of your wrists as he floods your senses all over again, and you let him.
You try to say his name in between the kisses, but each time you get a breath between the barrage of affection that seems to practically swallow you whole, Art steals your voice with another passionate kiss. Again, his taste is bitter, his teeth are damn near rotten, but youâve gotten so accustomed to the flavor that it doesnât make you gag. It makes you feel only slightly sickly. But the arousal overrides any lingering discomfort.
Itâs disorienting. Itâs all so much at once. You feel your body temperature rise. Art gives you back one of your wrists, but in doing so, he places his hand at the small of your back and pulls you in against him, until thereâs no space left between you.
Thatâs when you feel it. You feel the heat of his erection pressed against your thighs. Youâve excited him enough, it being quite clear the effect your mouth had on him.
You smile, but his lips are back at yours again, and the taste of bitterness hits at the back of your tongueâthe most sensitive taste receptors lighting up and ripping any smugness you had straight out of you as you close your eyes and sigh softly. His tongue mingles with yours.
He begins to move, forcibly taking you with him as you change where youâre standing, so that heâs no longer the one whose back is facing the workbenchâitâs you. You feel the edge of the table bump against your ass. With your positions effectively switched, you donât mind at all, far too enraptured by the kisses of your clown lover.
This was pure bliss.
He pulls away from your lips, now kissing the corners of your mouth, then going to your jawline, until heâs at your neck, sucking and licking and nibbling, giving you goosebumps. You feel your nipples go hard. You close your eyes and moan softly.
This is the few times of the year that you get this. It was the time that youâd be peppered in kisses, ravaged, and torn asunder in such a way that it would take you almost the remaining however many days, months, or years until youâd see him again to put yourself back together.
âArtâŠâ You laugh a little when his lips tickle a part of your neck. He silences you again with his lips to yours. You feel the way that he nips at your tongue this time and draws a little blood. The endorphins from the pain gives you a pleasant buzz. He bites your bottom lower lip next, taking note of how heâs beginning to use his teeth more and more during this exchange, and you think about how heâs eaten the faces of his victims before.
You could be next.
He pulls away and kisses at the corners of your lips a second time. Heâs obsessed with using his mouth. Your eyes finally open, and you gently move your head back a bit, until Art finally stops, the both of you staring into each other's eyes. His teeth are bared all the same as they were before, but thereâs a sultry gaze youâre familiar with. Up this close, you can see the more subtle details of him.
Like his lashes, which otherwise, from a distance is obscured by the paint over his face.
How could someoneâor⊠Something, be so monstrous⊠Yet so⊠pretty? You could get lost in his gaze. You could drown in it. And he knows that. And he likes that power over you.
Your lips turn upwards into a soft smile, and you feel a desire pool at your groin. Itâs an undeniable throbbing in tune with your heartbeat. Nevermind that you can feel his own arousal against you. Heâs warmer than youâhe feels like heâs practically burning up, compared to you, and the body heat radiating from him only serves to make you hotter in turn. Right to the point where youâre developing a thin sheen of sweat across your brow.
âI love you.â
He watches you, and through his body language and eyes, you understand him through his reaction. You see a slow, smug smile appear on his face.
Very much an, I know. No sign of reciprocation. That would be too heavy of an ask from someone like him. But him being receptive to your love was a testament to how much he liked you.
Not that you expected anything less from a cold killer such as the Miles County Clown. The fact that he hasnât yet killed you throughout all these years speaks in a kind of love on its own, youâd think.
Maybe not the one that people would refer to as being actually in love, but for him, for Art, it was. Love was tolerance. Love was allowing you to live.
You feel a hand slip up your dress again, and this time, you donât stop him. You part your legs for him this time, willingly letting him indulge in what you denied him earlier. Through your panties you feel his thick fingers, his index and middle pressing against your clit, sliding down between your cunt and back up again. He threatens to penetrate you with the tips of his fingers through your panties with a gentle prod, but doesnât follow through on it.
You ache, feeling more empty than ever.
Heâs doing this on purpose. All because you told him to wait earlier.
âArt,â You say his name with a weak laugh, and he stops to look at you, knowingly, at that, well aware of what it is heâs doing. His little way of being petty with you, and he continues once more, trailing his fingers up and down between your thighs, waiting for you to continue.
âItâs been months,â You plead for him. His face is still inches from yours, and you lean more of yourself against him, as your voice gets low. He observes you through half lidded eyes, analyzing you, assessing you and sizing you up. Heâs no longer smiling, and his lips are downturned ever so slightly. The expression looks more neutral now.
âI wanna have some fun.â You purse your lips. âPut your weapon crafting down for a bit?â
Your tone is pleading. Itâs a mix of a command and a requestâyouâre voicing your thoughts. You try to get a reading on his response through his eyes, but heâs put up a wall that you canât breach. Heâs unreadable. Itâs been months upon months since youâve both done anything together.
ââŠPlease?â
Artâs gaze is still indecipherable. It makes you a little nervous. The hairs on the back of your neck begin to stand up. Did he change his mind suddenly?
Had it been anyone else, you know theyâd be dead instantly. There was no wondering about that. Not a speculation or doubt in your mind. You hated when he did this, when he was fucking with you like this, leaving you in silence. Itâs in times like these that youâre reminded that youâre with a wild animal, and he could snap at any second if he decided he was hungry. It was part of the risk you took and the bargain you struck.
Maybe heâd just stab you here and now. Slit your throat and call it a fucking day because he decided that, nope, donât wanna keep doing this anymore! He could. Again, heâs pushed you away before. Other days heâs yanked you in against him. His mood was unpredictable, hard to guess, and as volatile as a storm across an ocean.
Without another word, youâre turned around, and the flat of Artâs palm travels down your spine as he presses the front of your body forward and down onto the workbench. He gives you time to adjust, so that youâre at least able to rest your forearms on the table top. As of right now, your tits are squished against the surface of the table. Itâs a little uncomfortable.
This is surprisingly tender, all things considered. You remember one time when heâd been fucking you on his workbench, how he tied your hands together with some zipties and then choked you out by wrapping some rusty metal chains around your neck. And that was only after heâd finished whipping your breasts, thighs and ass until you were a bloody bruised mess barely hanging on. You still have some scars from those times. He loved to twirl you over the line of death like it was all one dance, pulling you back at the last second.
You go from feeling his palm to the fingertips travel down your back. If it werenât for the fabric of your dress in the way, you know those blood and dirt stained fingertips would have tickled you by now. And heâs done that in the past while fucking youâtickling you mercilessly. He even makes a point to wiggles his fingers a little against your back on the way down playfully. You canât help but laugh a little as you exhale, letting some of the excitement stirring within you leave your body through your lungs. Your breaths are getting deeper, and in times like this, when he thrills you in such a way, youâre reminded just how much he makes you feelâŠ
Alive.
Because when youâre with him, death is always hot on your heels. And you wouldnât have it any other way.
âDonât be gentle,â You tell him. He knows. You know he knows.
You hear the metallic zipper from the front of his suit go down as the teeth on the track separate and reveal the body of a man beneath that clown visage. You steal a glance over your shoulder to admire his pale skin that covered over such a thin frame. Amazing how a build such as his carries such supernatural strength.
Unceremoniously, he gets right to work, giving your ass a firm slap after lifting the back of your dress, letting it crumple up over your hips. You yelp gently as you know that thereâs likely already a red spot on your rump. Art rubs the spot on your ass heâd slapped, then gives it a gentle squeeze.
You make the decision to look over your shoulder, right on time to experience watching when the killer clown makes the decision that you no longer are in need of your panties. His dirtied fingers slip within the space between the elastic waistband of your undergarment and your skin. He lets it snap against your flesh onceâthatâs about the extent of use it gets before he grabs whatever meager fistful he can of that excuse of âmodestyâ you brought to him and rips it clean off your form.
âOw!â
You told him to be rough. And heâs planning on taking that quite literally, as heâs taking it for not just the sex, but all of what precedes it apparently. Heâs quietly laughing to himself, teeth showing, eyes crinkled.
âGlad you got some entertainment out of it.â
A few more noiseless giggles then he sobers up. Back to the task at handâfucking your brains out.
He aligns himself right up against your warm dripping cunt, hands gripping your hips so tightly that his filthy fingertips leave stains on your dress. His nails are so sharp you swear that if he tried to sink them in any further, heâd pierce the cloth and right into your flesh. You inhale sharply again, bracing for the moment he sinks in. You feel the tip of his cock press against you and begin to push in, the head barely getting the chance even to get inside you before it slips and glides between the crack of your ass as he misses. Your excitement stutters for a second, but then ramps back up higher than before, impatience and desire washing over you wholly like a wave.
Youâve been grabbing at the edge of the workbench, hands holding tight and then releasing them of their grip every so often to relax your muscles. You donât say anything.
Heâs annoyed at missing you the first push in.
With a look of disgruntlement he instead opts for one hand reaching to push your head down against the table with such a cruel force that makes you worry for a split second that he was trying to crush your skull. It was his way of trying to steady you as he then uses his other hand to line the head of his cock right against your cunt for the second time.
You shiver as you feel him, hands turning to fists that you clench tightly as inch by agonizing inch, he spreads you and fills you out easily. Your body did the heavy work, and has been prepping for him for the last ten minutes. Itâs slick, and he can feel the wetness of your cunt hit against his balls when he bottoms out within you. Thatâs when you sigh in relief.
He almost pulls all the way out, then rams into you roughly, making you exhale sharply as the table shakes upon impact. The few tools laid out shuddered until they stilled. Give or take a few more times of this, and he finally releases his hand on your head, but you still opt to keep your head down.
The rhythm he has is a little awkward at first, but he is quick to course correct, both hands firmly planted on your hips, keeping you steady. You canât see his face right now, but youâve seen it plenty of times when youâve fucked before. How his mouth would go into that âoâ shape, and the way his eyes would go half mast, holding nothing but a glimpse of paradise behind him as you could see that he was as close to heaven as his wicked self could get. You were beautiful to him, as far as sacks of flesh and blood went. And you could tell the times that he looked at you in such a predatory manner that there was restraint behind it.
You feel the pressure build up within you at a steady rate as he leans over you, chest pressed against your back, sucking on your neck, marking you. Then he nips. Then kisses, then sucks so goddamn hard on the same spot that you swear that heâs trying to suction your flesh right off your body.
It doesnât take long for you to be so close. Heâs so warm. The sound of his body slapping against yours, mixed with the creak of the workbench thatâs forced to undergo the assault of you being rammed into it, a few quiet moans slip past your lips to join along.
Youâre unbearably close, feeling yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, just a little more andâ
Your phone goes off.
You forgot to silence it.
You feel it vibrating in the pocket of your dress. The ringtone scares the shit out of you and Art, who abruptly jumps a little while still on top of you.
âOf course.â You say sarcastically. âOf course! Who the fuck is calling me?!â Youâre irritated now, mood under threat of being ruined. The excitement you felt shrivels up.
Reaching inside your hiked up dress pocket, you pull out your phone and check to see who had the audacity to try and get a hold of you in your time of undoing.
Your friend. Sort of. He was like a close acquaintance? If you could call him that. You met him when you were out and about one night. Heâs an okay dude, hasnât done anything wrong.
If only he didnât harbor a romantic interest in you when you were already spoken for. But how could you begin to tell someone that youâre involved with a psychopathic killer clown? Specifically the Miles County Clown?
Youâre ready to send him right to voicemail, until the phone is seized right out of your hand from over your shoulder.
âHey!â
Your protest is in vain, as Art too, looks at who is calling you right now. You had HOPED heâd take a look at it, have his curiosity sated, maybe turn the phone off or better yet, youâd even forgive him if he tossed it over his shoulder, just this once!
But the look heâs giving you, then the phone, makes your heart sink as you realize.
âArt, donât do itââ
His expression turns wicked, mouth upturned into the most shiteating grin youâve ever seen.
âArt, I swear to godââ
But godâs not here, nowhere to be found in this workshop. Godâs forsaken you. Doing the devils tango with a demon can do that.
Giggling silently to himself, in an act of deliberate defiance against you as well as likely for his very own amusement, he accepts the phone call for you and places it right to your ear.
What a gentleman. Truly.
Youâre going to fucking kill him. You try to take the phone away from him, but he merely pulls it back out of your reach.
âHello?â
You can hear the voice on the other end of the line. Art brings it down to your ear again and you try to make a reach for it a second time, only for him to do the exact same thing as before, silently cackling all the while. Itâs become apparent that heâs not going to let you have it.
âHellooooo?â
With a resigned sigh, you donât fight him any further. Art puts the phone to your ear for the third time.
âHey.â You answer wearily.
âHey!â His voice on the other end of the line is suddenly lighter, filled with levity. You can hear the way that his breath is hitched in the back of his throat. Static tinges at the edges of his words. Must be a shoddy connection down here.
âHow are you?â
âIâmââ You start to answer, but are interrupted by Art going back to rocking his hips into you while still over you. Once again, you look over your shoulder to give him the stink eye.
âIâm good, just uh, you know. Hanging out.â You respond, exhaling deeply as Art stirs the fire within you again after it had just begun to cool down.
âNice, me too.â He says, and lets the silence between you both sink in for a few seconds. âYou doing anything tomorrow?â
This would all be so much easier if you werenât getting dicked down.
âI⊠Iâm uhââ
Heâs pounding into you from behind now, still leaning over you, holding the phone for you in one hand and keeping the other on the workbench for stability. Each fluid roll of his hips is equally tantalizing as the previous, his body connecting with yours in such a familiar way you craved. The table shakes, and youâre gripping the edges of it for dear life. You can hear his heavy breath from behind you, excitement building in each time he fills and empties his lungs.
âArtââ You say his name through grit teeth like a warning, with annoyance in your tone, but the excitement you feel, the rush and the thrill of it all has you coming close to release. Why does this feel so good? This man, this sweet man, who has done nothing wrong to you, interested in you, blissfully unaware that your heart belongs to someone else, being fooled like this. Itâs wrong. This is wrong. Art knew about this man. He knew about him for some time. Art made it clear that he hated him. The only reason heâs still breathing is because you asked Art not to put this manâs head on a pike, but you fear itâs only a matter of time until your clown lover eviscerates this trespasser for encroaching on what he perceives as his territoryâyou.
âArt?" He repeats.
This is all an act of revenge done on the Artâs part. His pettiness knew no bounds.
âYeah, art. You knowâMhnââ Your nails dig into the edge of the workbench as if thatâll somehow make a difference in the fact that heâs pounding into your cunt with such an aggressive force that begins to make you ache.
âYou know, p-painting? Drawing. That sort of thing.â
You can only pray the ungodly sinful noises of his skin slapping against yours canât be heard over the line.
âOhhh⊠Well, hey, you wanna hangout sometime soon? Itâs been a bit. Wanted to catch up with you if thatâs fine.â
Youâre not paying attention to a damn thing this dude is saying. Itâs just words, in one ear, straight out the other.
âUhuh.â You say without thinking. Youâre close. Youâre unbearably close as Art angles himself in such a way that hits just right. He knows how you work all too well. He knows how to unwind you and how to pull you apart piece by piece like itâs second nature to him.
Artâs pushing you towards the cliff, and thereâs no stopping it. Your vision starts to blur a little. Your breathing deepens, and Art knows whatâs about to come next, which only seems to spur him on as well, exciting him to the point where now heâs going fast not just for you, but for himself, chasing his own orgasm hot on its heels.
âHowâs about next Thursday, at 7pm? Thereâs a new restaurant across the street from where we both metââ
The phone becomes nothing short of white noise. This shouldnât feel so right, it shouldnât. But it does. Gods above, it does.
You feel yourself lose sense of the world around you. Thereâs nothing but ringing in your ears, and you realize how little time you have to prepare before itâs too late.
Your orgasm crashes into you and is ripped out of you all within seconds. You try to keep quiet, your voice strangled and choked out in the process. Your release is violent as it tears you between what feels like the state of life and death. Your cunt tightens around his cock, squeezing him in contractions that trigger him in turn. Art hisses like a serpent, feeling his muscles lock up and knowing that he only has a few seconds to bury himself to the hilt within you, and he does. His face twists into an ugly and horrid expression as he comes inside you, dropping the phone on the workbench in the process while filling you with all the pent up energy he had been keeping away from you for months.
All of what heâd been denying you was now yours.
âHello?â
Youâre finally coming back into your own body a few meager seconds later when you register the voice, and hurriedly grab the phone before Art gets the chance.
âCan I call you back?â You ask, holding the phone to your mouth, but you werenât really asking. Your friend had no real say in it, and before he even gets the chance to respond, you hang up. And then you lower your head and sigh. All the while, Art has since recovered, but his legs are shaky. You shove him off of you, and he stumbles back with an uneven balance, post orgasm weakened. Goofily he fumbles past the stool from earlier, which he tries to grab but fails in doing so. Instead, he lands right on his ass.
Youâre sure to follow that up by throwing your phone at his head, which it does, but it lands with a clack right beside him. The only reason you felt remotely confident in doing that is because youâre both that close. Well, that and irritation made you a bold motherfucker sometimes. Yet despite all of that, he sits there, a wickedly amused smile on his face.
You pull your dress back down. Your legs tingle and you swear you feel some of his come dripping down your thigh, but youâre not sure.
âProud of yourself, huh?â You ask, leaning against the bench for balance until you get your footing.
Yes. Yes he was proud of himself!
The rest of the night was spent at Artâs temporary hideaway space, lamenting the loss of your panties and calling back your guy friend who had unknowingly been part of something much more than he knew. And youâd never tell him. Not that you would ever have the chance to tell him really anything at all anymore in the future.
You had no idea at the time that Art would meet your friend the day you were both set to reconvene. But you should have known better, and a part of you already did. The reason you know he was dead was because he ended up on the local news the next day missing.
That, and Art had saved the manâs heart specifically for you when you came to visit him again.
#art the clown#terrifier#art the clown x you#art the clown x reader#slasher x you#slasher x reader#x reader
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I think a great awkward sex fic could be homelander making love for the first time.
Not losing his virginity, but having sex with someone he loves
anon you're sooooooo smart!!!! I love this idea so much. After being in such a funk this reignited me and I had to write it now!! It took a different turn at the end but I don't dictate what the characters do!! thank you for this idea and please enjoy đ©·
Imperfectly Perfect
[Masterlist] [AO3]
18+ Only | 2.7k | Homelander x fem!Reader | Awkward sex. Realistic sex. Embarrassing sex noises. Feelings of inadequacy. Homelander being a mild drama queen. Cunnilingus. Unprotected sex.
Looking back at it, it was meant to be perfect.
Homelander eagerly ushered you back to his penthouse after an incredible date out. He pulled out all the stops, renting out the top rated, most expensive restaurant just for you. He spent the entire night charming your pants off with his strangely charismatic and at times awkward self.Â
Buzzing with anticipation he couldnât wait to show you what else he had in store for you. Youâve changed his perception of everything. Ever since youâve wormed your way into his heart, heâs locked the way out and threw away the key. Youâve made him feel like nobody else ever has and he thought it high time he repay the favor. Thatâs why tonight had to be perfect.Â
He wanted to show you what awaits you in your shared future.
He had some poor Vought employees absolutely drown his penthouse with bouquets of rich red roses, rose petals strewn across most surfaces, candles illuminating every corner, highlighting the glittering gold of the picture frames adorning his walls. Smooth jazz played in the background at a low volume sealing the deal on what ended up feeling like a scene plucked from an elaborate Valentineâs day ad.
âWow! This isâwow! Homelander, you didnât have to do all this.â You looked around the space, taking in the change with a shock and awe on your face. This quickly turned into a beautiful bright smile that made Homelander feel like he was on top of the world. Heâs obviously doing something right.
âAnything for my girl.â He pulled you in gently, making the dress heâs picked for you twirl prettily. âCome with me,â he pressed a kiss to your soft lips, letting them linger for a little while while he inhaled the scent of your perfumeâalso his choiceâand the roses surrounding you both. At that moment he thought that tonight would be perfect, one for the books.
And now? It didnât take long for it to already be turning into a disaster.
From his point of view at least.
Youâre sitting at the edge of the bed, leaning back on your arms as you watch the show. You asked to watch him take off his suit, promising that youâd give him just as good of a show as he would.Â
Prior to this he has taken his elaborate suit off thousands of times anytime heâd go to bed. Now heâs struggling as if both of his hands were left-handed and this was his first suit fitting. Heâs so tense, his nerves tighter than a bow string making his hands shake while he unclasps the cape, immediately folding it on the rack out of habit before he continues unzipping his suit. His heart is beating like a drum in his ears, he wouldnât be surprised if even your ordinary ones could pick up on it.Â
Itâs not that heâs never had sex. Itâs just that the anticipation of what heâs built up in his head is making him overthink his every move. He needs you to know that he can be like this for you. Because the perfect mainstream image of romance is what every woman dreams ofâright?
When the zipper gets stuck and doesnât let him unzip like normal he panics internally. There were meant to be no hiccups today!Â
Observant that you are, you stand up as soon as you see him struggle and swear and take the step closer to him. âLet me help you.â You put your hands on his before sliding them up his forearms, then shoulders before going down to rest on his chest.
âHow about you let me undress you and then you undress me.â You give him a cheeky smile, trying to break the tension he put himself into. âDoes that sound good?â You ask quietly and breathy as you undo the zipper he was struggling with.Â
He nods curtly, feeling ashamed that heâs admitting to a fault on his part.
But with the continuous dreamy eye-contact you slowly help him out. Undoing clasps, and zippers of his convoluted uniform.Â
He was less worried about you seeing him naked than he is about the whole performance of it all. Heâs let you see him without the suit before. Early into your blooming relationship youâve stumbled upon him covered in blood. It only made sense to take the shower together as you helped him wash all of it off. But even then, he didnât want it to go further. He said he had plans and asked you to let him make it perfect.Â
When heâs finally fully naked he pulls you in for a hot kiss. Itâs almost in gratitude at helping him mend the situation and put it back on track. He walks you back to the bed pushing you on it. Heâs only about half hard, which is unusual for him as Homelander easily gets a hard-on in a split second anytime you just look at him a certain way. So itâs a surprise that heâs not panting and leaking with the way you look tonight.Â
Clearly, heâs still stuck in his head.
With each kiss he presses into your skin, tasting the softness of your every spot he gets more and more excited. Slowly melting into you with each little huff you let out as he kisses your body, undressing you in tandem. âYouâre so fucking beautiful.â He growls into your ear before kissing you flush on the lips. Hot and heavy, he licks into your mouth, moaning at the way you pull at his hair when you rake your fingers through it.
Just as you want to take some control back, treat him the same way heâs treating you, he stops you.
âNuh, uh. Ladies first. Let me make you feel good.â He rumbles as he pushes your hands off his body. You look pleased at his words, giving him an excited little grin.
And just like that, heâs finally taking control of the situation again. Heâs got a script in his head and he needs to follow it to a tee.
Down on his knees, he pulls you closer to the edge of the bed. Already spreading your legs open, unabashedly inhaling the scent of you, already aroused and wet for him. He grins like a shark to himself. Without giving you much heads-up or taking it slow he just straight up buries himself in between your legs.
Just the smell of you had his cock finally turning rock hard, now with the taste of you he feels it twitching, drooling precum from the tip.
Heâs licking you open, spreading you with his tongue. Like a mad man who doesnât know where to focus first, with little rhythm he changes between strongly sucking at your clit, pointing his tongue sharply and running circles around your clit right before shoving his tongue into you, tongue-fucking you just like he imagines will leave your mind blown.
Except.Â
âLittle softer, please.â You sound out in between sweet little sighs. Youâve taken to running your nails through his hair, giving his scalp a little massage while he went to town on you.
âMâsorry.â He mumbles into your pussy as he quickly looks up at you. He slows down with his urgency though heâs a little peeved at the way heâs not been able to rock your world yet.Â
âDonât beâahâitâs great. I just like it a little softer.âÂ
Itâs great? Great?! It should be mind-blowing, incredible, glorious! Not just great. Immediately his ego takes a hit but he doesnât outwardly show it. In his mind you shouldâve been moaning and shaking for him, coming on his tongue while he got his fill of you.Â
This doesnât happen.
And while heâs doing better, making you moan a little louder, forcing small gasps out of you as he softens his tongue flat, gently laving over your clit before sucking on it softly. Heâs not making you cum and thatâs killing him.
You suddenly sharply tug on his hair and at first he thinks youâre getting close but you pull again and he looks up at you confused.
âCome up here.â You guide him up.
âBut you didnât finish.â He scrunches his eyebrows confused and for a second he looks like an innocent sweet puppy.Â
âI donât wanna come yet. Iâm actually usually done after one orgasm so I reaaally want to have you inside me for the big finish you know?â You sign that off with a wolfish grin that he immediately eats up as he climbs up to devour you, making you taste yourself on his lips.Â
With the thoughts of being inside you where itâs all soft and warm and really just made for his cock, he abandons his thoughts of inadequacy.Â
And as much as you want to participate, Homelander keeps pushing you off, instead focusing on your body and all the places he hasnât managed to kiss yet.Â
When he swats your hand away from his cock again you ask. âWhy wonât you let me return the favor?âÂ
âAnother time.â
âBut I wanna blow you! Itâs not fair, why canât I?â You keep pouting and youâre as adorable as you are annoying because as much as heâs sure your mouth will feel amazing heâs even more certain that your pussy will be fucking incredible. And he definitely wonât make it through both.
âBecause Iâll bust, alright?â He swats your hands away instead pinning your wrists down onto the plush bedding making you yelp in surprise and arousal. He can sense the way that got you all excited. âNow just let me fuck you⊠please?â He says before kissing you again.
You automatically spread your legs. He kneels on the bed, sitting on his heels as his eyes immediately lock onto the sight of your pussy, still pretty and wet for him. A sight that makes his heart swell. Part of him was worried you wouldnât want him with such voracity. He made sure to keep some lube on hand in case you wouldnât get wet enough for it to be comfortable for you but he was preening that he managed to get you this wet.Â
Homelander let one of his fingers glide down your slit, gathering the slick before pushing a finger in, immediately groaning at the intense heat of your cunt. He couldnât wait to get his cock in you.
He gathers more slick that you seem to be making an abundance of but this time he gives his cock a few strokes, giving it a nice, wet coating. âSo perfect for me.â He whispers out more to himself than you before he shuffles closer, holding his cock in his hand, rubbing it up and down your slit before eagerly pushing in.
The sheer tight heat of you has him gasping, youâd almost think he was in pain if it wasnât for the blissed out look on his face.
When he sinks all the way in, he takes in your pretty face, your softly parted lips, gently flushed face and a look in your eyes that heâs sure heâll never forget. You look at him with such love and adoration itâs impossible for him to stop the, âI love you,â that comes out of him before he kisses you.
âI love you too.â You say with a bright smile when he lets you breathe.
 He thinks at this moment, thereâs no way this could be anything less than perfect.
Getting lost in the sensation he picks up the pace. He fucks into your faster and harder with each stroke and itâs not bad but itâs too too much from the get go. Homelander doesnât see this. In his head he wants to make you cum before he himself finishes which with his track record might not be a very long time.
âHey hey hey, slow down. You donât need to go all hard and fast so quickly okay?â You say with a breathless little laugh, looking a bit rattled from the way heâs been fucking you into the mattress.
Fuck. He fucked up again. Heâs disappointing you. That thought makes his heart hurt and jaw clench. But Homelander doesnât let it show as he just nods at you, kissing his tension away, trying to get his head back into enjoying himself as much as he should.
But the universe isnât kind to him and when he eases himself back into you, pressing his body against your sweat-covered one, the glide of skin on skin well⊠It makes a sound that could only be described as a fart!
You burst into giggles at the comical sound and you seem to think thatâs it but Homelander is mortified. His eyes widen and he gasps, pushing himself off your sweat-slick skin. âThat wasnâtâI didnâtââ
When he tries to explain that it wasnât him it just makes you laugh harder.
He doesnât get itâyouâre laughing! Itâs so incredibly embarrassing and itâs ruining the vision he had for the night. Tonight was about him finally opening up to you, letting you feel just how strongly he feels about you and itâs been a disaster from the start.
He feels himself softening inside you so he pulls out before you notice and he grumpily pulls away from you, turning to sit at the edge of the bed to sulk.
Your giggles died out as soon as you noticed him pull away. âBaby? Donât be upset. Iâm not laughing at you.â You sit up, reaching over to him, moving closer.Â
âItâs fucking embarrassing! Tonight was meant to beâwell not like this!â Heâs upset and heâs trying to take it out on you as if pretending that itâs your fault is gonna soothe his hurt ego.
âItâs okay. Itâs normal, it happens. Itâs literally just skin on skin. Bodies make funny sounds!â You try to soothe him by rubbing his arms and shoulder, occasionally pressing a kiss to his head or side of his neck.
âYou shouldnât be laughing at it like this whole thing doesnât matter.â He said with a bite in his tone, almost accusing you of not sharing his feelings.
âIâm laughing because this does matter to me. Iâm comfortable around you. You make me feel at ease and let my guard down. Iâm laughing precisely because I love you.â
He doesnât respond and you continue soothing his hurt feelings.
âItâs beautiful, the way youâve prepared this place. But do you wanna hear a secret?â You move closer to him and turn his head with your finger. âItâd be just as romantic without all of it. Even if the first time we had sex was in a broom closet. Or whatever. The point isâitâs you. That makes it all so special.â
He sighs with palpable relief and he nuzzles his head into the hand you placed on his cheek. He could just about devour you for being so amazing.Â
âI just wanted it to be perfect for you.â He admits his insecurity, giving you the ammunition to rip his heart in two if you wanted to. He knows you hear the âI want to be perfect for you,â heâs really trying to convey.Â
âIt is perfect. Tonight, the whole thing. Everything thatâs happened. Itâs been perfect. Iâve been loving every second of it.â You kiss him on the lips and he melts. He turns so he can embrace you with the kiss, feeling the tension finally slip away. With no expectations, he can enjoy you the way he should have from the start.
âCome on, lie down. Stop thinking.â Itâs your turn to press him into the mattress as he lies on his back staring up at you with pure adoration.
Just like that, after seeing you on top of him all pretty and loving his cock is back at full hardness. You finally wrap your hand around it, giving it a few strokes before you lower yourself down on him.
âWeâre getting to know our bodies. You learn what I like, I learn what you like. None of this thinking of what it should be like. Okay?â He nods at you although heâs very preoccupied with taking in the incredible feeling of you wrapped hotly around him, sending his mind into a frenzy.
You bounce on him, showing him exactly how you like it, what angle and what pace and in the meanwhile you coo sweet, soothing words. Clearly seeing just how much work his hurt ego will need to get back to normal.Â
And somehow, in the end, itâs so much more perfect than he could ever imagine it to be.
Taglist (you can add yourself to be notified anytime I publish a new Homelander story): @infinetlyforgottenÂ
#spat this out in like 2hs#this didn't actually turn out the way I originally imagined when I posted about wanting to write awkward sex#but I kinda love the way it turned out!#homelander x reader#homelander x you#homelander#homelander fanfiction#my writing#the boys fanfiction#asks!#fic request
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This has been sitting on my mind a lot lately but it seems extra relevant now with the way Tommy and by extension Lou has been criticized for acting âtoo gayâ in ep 5. And while yes, I will agree Tommy acted slightly different in ep 5, it has absolutely everything to do with Louâs incredible acting choices to play Tommy differently when he is around people he deems as âsafeâ which is much better explained in this amazing post here <-
All these complains are doing is just yet again exposing buddies as homophobes who are, at the end of the day. Uncomfortable with real queerness being shown infront of them. Of course we already knew this with how they react to Buck and Tommy kissing and god forbid flirting especially if it has sexual implications like the daddy kink scene.
They canât possibly fathom their precious uwu baby Buck would be sexual with another man so they spin and twist it however they can to make it out to be, âNO! You see! Tommy started the flirting! Tommy is just an insatiable horny gay man! He only wants sex! Like most of them do!â
Which is again spewing homophobic rhetoric, who wouldve guessed thats what they immediately turn to?
I now have something probably controversial to say but oh well, im going to say it anyway.
A good many of these shippers would be deeply uncomfortable with Buddie actually becoming canon, because they would be nothing like their fanfic. They donât want to see two men in a relationship, they want to see Eddie in a relationship with the character they project themselves onto.
There are so many examples of this but perhaps the biggest being the way Buck is made out to be the âwomanâ in the relationship and especially how he is made to be the âmomâ
Buck and Tommyâs relationship 1st does not have any children involved so there are no gendered roles to be assigned (even though if there was.. theyd just both be a dad), they are both beefy and the same height, which is what people usually use to decide âtopâ and âbottomâ but again since there is little physical difference between them, they cannot do this, which only adds to their uncomfortableness.
Furthermore, I would go as far to say that Buddie shippers dont actually like Buck.
A while back a shipper posted this analysis of Buddie, that essentially reduces Buck to a dog. A pet. Only to be let out of the bedroom to cook and take care of Chris, otherwise heâs meant only for Eddieâs pleasure.
Which, disgusting. But the thing that stood out most to me was how Tommy was criticized for
letting Buck be himself. For accepting and loving him flaws and all. For not trying to change anything, or âtrainâ the bad out of him
While Eddie was the âtrainerâ in that scenario, that had to train the bad out of Buck in order for him to be acceptable.
And thats the funny thing isnt it? Buddie shippers have to completely warp and destroy Buckâs character to make him fit their mold of perfect partner for Eddie. They make him out to be this helpless person who canât even tell Tommy he doesnt want to be called Evan, that needs rescuing from Tommy, that is a âmother figureâ to Chris, that his âdream roleâ would be live in chef and maid for the diaz family..
When none of that is Buck.
Buck is a smart, independent and strong man. He has worked tirelessly on himself to know who he is and what he wants, which right now? Is with Tommy.
Bringing it back to my main point, their complaints of Tommy being more gay and Bucktommy intimacy ultimately just boil down to homophobia plain and simple, seeing real queer representation and not representation that they can specifically twist and cater to themselves through fic, headcanons or gifs, makes them uncomfortable
(could this be why so many of them ignore shows with canon m/m ships for favor of shows with fanon ones that will never actually happen? So they can make these demands for representation then shit on it as soon as they get it because its not fanfic? Its not their fetish specifically catered to them? It actually represents real life queer men who they donât actually like?)
#911 abc#tommy kinard#bucktommy#evan buckley#anti bobs#anti buddie#fandom when relationships dont play out like fanfics:đ€Ż#fandom discourse#911 discourse#discourse
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i just k n o w that joel would absolutely love to have reader sit on his face. i donât think he would ever initiate it, but if baby asked nicely đ€đ€
asking nicely
joel miller x afab!reader.
warnings: 18+ explicit content. (dirty talk. lil bit of dom!joel. face sitting clearly. joel being a mf tease i want to **** *** ****) swearing.
a/n: anon you are so right. like so so right. i love when people can read his character perfectlyâ like you are so right about this itâs maddening. he wouldnât ask, but boyyyyy would he provide. thankyou for this i hope itâs okay i went a little crazy with it. also i didnât edit this i just DID it. LET ME SIT ON YOUR FACE JOELSNJCKSNCJS
âStop fidgetinâ.â Joel grumbles into the back of your neck, arm tightening around your hips to stop you from flipping over for the thousandth time. You cringe a little, knowing how the tiny bed you two have shacked up in for a night between patrol runs hides none of your thrashing movements to him. You hate keeping him from the limited sleep he getsâ but itâs for a good reason.
âSorry.â You say, and he groans in response. You try to stay stillâ really, you do. You try to just go to sleep, but his hand picks up itâs movement again, tracing light circles on the skin of your bare hip, and then youâre back where you started.
You feel bad youâre keeping him up, but itâs his fault. How are you meant to just fall asleep when heâs literally touching you? Heâs⊠him. Itâs impossible not to want to jump his bones every time he lays a finger on you, let alone hooks his strong arm over your body, his hips pressed against the back of yours.
You flip over again, face to face with him. One of his eyes open, and he groans.
âDarlinâ.â He says, voice low and cracked with sleep. âWhat is it? You havinâ trouble sleeping?â
Instead of answering, you just nod and scoot a little closer to him. You were still naked from the events of just hours before, Joel bending you over the end of the bed and fucking you until your mind went blank, and heâd only bothered to put on his boxers before crashing into sleep behind you. The two of you were incessant like thatâ you were pretty sure it had something to do with how long it took you both to get together. Now you were, you just couldnât stay away.
He sighs and wraps you in his arms, kissing you softly on the forehead before you tuck yourself away under his chin. Itâs not true, really. Well, you were having trouble sleeping, but itâs not for the reason he thinks.
You hardly get any time alone. Between Jacksonâs demanding patrol schedules and Ellie running around with all her friends, you and Joel only really get a few choice moments to be really alone. Usually, itâs great. You love having Ellie and everyone in Jackson around, but tonight you were happy to be alone, and it just made you think of all the things you two do when youâre alone, and now, when youâre supposed to be sleeping, you couldnât stop thinking about it.
âBetter?â He says, and itâs you sighing this time. He was so sweet to youâ just you, all the time, and you really shouldnât bother him with the dirty thoughts running through your mind right now. âAlright, what is it?â
âNothing.â You mumble and hide your face. One of his arms slips back over you slowly, his hand trailing itâs way to your face. His hands are so strong, he hardly has to apply any pressure before your eyes flutter up to him, forcing your head up.
âYou lyinâ to me, darlinâ?â You frown, pouting. âDonât look at me like that.â
âYou canât even see how Iâm looking at you.â You squint, trying to find the lines of his face in the pitch dark room.
âCan feel it.â He tips your head higher, making your body wriggle up to follow his touch. His lips hover in front of yours, warmth rolling over your cheeks. âYou having those dreams again?â
You shake your head.
âNo?â He confirms, and you do it again. âYou feelinâ okay? You sick or somethinâ?â
âJoelââ
âDonât whine. Youâre a big girl. You need something, you ask for it.â It might not have meant to be taken like⊠that, but fuck, you were nearly shaking in anticipation. The dip in his voice, a slightly demeaning lilt in his toneâ it was doing nothing to calm down the wicked heat spreading in your stomach.
Whatever your reaction, it told him everything he needed to know.
Suddenly heâs sitting up, taking some of that warmth with him, but then heâs reaching for you again, pulling your naked body into his lap and tucking your hair behind your ears. The movement is so natural, so practised to him that he can do it blind.
He laughs darkly, hands cupping your cheeks and kissing you so deeply that it makes you squeak in surprise. Your body tenses up, then melts into him as his hands begin to trail lower, giving you what you wordlessly told him you needed. Heâs slow, letting his fingers dip into every curve around your hips, tracing the line of your spine and smiling into your mouth as you arch yourself closer.
His hands reach the base of your spine, then lower, squeezing your ass and groaning as you grind down into his lap. He pulls away, kissing roughly under your jaw, down your neck, the tired and lazy pace making it impossible to not wrap your arms around his neck and thread your fingers through his hair.
âThis what you want, sweet thing?â All you can do is hum happily, and he grinds you down on his lap again. âJesus Christâ fuckinâ insatiable.â
âJoelâŠâ You whine, and his teeth graze the sensitive spot on your neck, making you gasp.
âWhat I say, huh? You need somethinââŠâ He dips his head, teeth nipping you bottom lip teasingly. âYou ask for it.â
âJoel, come onâŠâ You squeeze your eyes shut, a little embarrassed by the dirty idea that had you flipping around in bed like an animal. Something in particular you two hadnât tried yet. âI wantâ I want you toâŠâ
âTell me, sweet thing. Taught you better than to mumble, didnât I?â You shudder, feeling his hands wander around your hips to the top of your thighs. He was getting close, but not right on the money.
You were really going to have to say it out loud.
A tight squeeze on your hips has your eyes fluttering open again, and he was so close you could see a little bit of him now. His usually unfairly fluffy hair is a little smushed down from where heâd been pressed into the pillow, and his eyes were half lidded, flitting between your eyes and where your hips met his. He was picture perfect like thisâ the dimmed image making you remember all the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place.
He squeezes you again, giving you a sly grin, and your mind switches from the romantic to a little more serious.
âI want your mouth.â You manage to say in a breathy gasp, and youâre rewarded with just that. He groans in approval, the vibration against your neck making you keen closer to him. He leaves wet kisses over your marked up neck, then down lower over your collarbone.
âLike this?â He says softly, and you can feel the smirk against your chest.
âNo.â
âNo?â He pulls back, and you groanâ frustrated.
âWaitâ yes. But⊠not likeâ that. LikeâŠâ
âOut with it. Now.â He says, and then smacks your ass like heâs encouraging a horse to trot. The action sparks a little fire in your stomach, and you push him in a show of strength. Your forearm shoves his chest lightly, sending him back into the headboard with a small but audible âoof.â
âI want to sit on your face.â Youâre met with silence.
Joelâs wandering hands still on your bare skin, and if you really concentrate you can feel his stuttered pulse under his palms. The man who never freezes, never doesnât know what to doâ you left him completely speechless.
Your gut sinks. You think youâve made him think youâre some kind of sex fiend, or worseâ youâve made him uncomfortable. You sit in the silence for two⊠three⊠four whole seconds before it all becomes too much and you try to backtrack.
âHold onâ wait, that came out of nowhere.â No, it did not. âI just⊠shit, Joel I justââ
âFuck.â He mutters, and then slams his mouth to yours. He kisses you hot and heavy, and before you know it heâs laying down and youâre hovering over the top of him, your knees over his hips. âYou sweet fuckinâ thing. Come âere.â
âJoel, you donât have tââ
âYou want this, baby?â Figuring thereâs no going back now, and the mere idea nearly sending your mind into a dizzy spell, you nod at him. âGood. Fuckâ so good. I want it. Come here.â
He shuffles further underneath you, your legs feeling like jelly the second he hooks his arms around the backs of them. You gasp and nearly topple over when he yanks you up, and you have to hold onto the headboard when Joelâs shoulders part your legs further.
When you tentatively move higher, you shudder his name when his hot breath brushes over your core. It rushes over your sensitive inner thighs, and knowing heâs so closeâ so close, and no part of you could hide from him⊠it was nearly better than the actual thing. Nearly.
That was until he strained his neck up and kissed between your legs right there, andâ
âFuck, Joel!â You cried out, probably loud enough to alert anyone in the area to your location, and Joel fucking laughs. You know, because the sensation only doubles as he smiles and repeats the slow motion, tongue wrapping around your clit while his mouth slowly follows.
âSit, baby.â He mumbles into you, and you suck in a breath, still hovering slightly over him. You donât want to crush the man, but if you hold here any longer your legs will give out.
He doesnât bother fighting you, just wraps his arms further around your legs and tugs you down, smothering himself between your legs so deep you donât think he can even breath properly.
He isnât one for wasting time, his mouth already working you open as his tongue tastes you from the new angle, and you know he looks up at your dazed expression because his nose brushes against your clit. You cry out again, and thereâs a loud smack before you realise itâs his hands grabbing at your ass again, holding you down.
He groans, and itâs amazing you hear it over your own desperate little noises. Itâs impossible to be quiet, Joel downright devouring every inch of you, and you have no choice but to just sit there and let him. Itâs fucking earth shatteringâ your knuckles going white as they tighten around the wooden frame of the headboard. His tongue slides through your folds again, and when he finds that sensitive spot again, your hips buck against his face.
âYeahâ fuck. Thatâs it.â You hear him say, and then heâs sending an entirely new wave of pleasure up your spine, leaving you breathless for anything else but his name.
âJoel. Joel!â You say in a higher tone than you thought possible. He just groans into you again. The soft scratch of his beard against your thighs is dull compared to the sharpness of the pleasure jabbing you closer and closer to the edge.
His tongue wraps around your clit, the warmth of his mouth making your already limited vision blur into nothing, and then you all but collapse into the headboard in front of you. You donât know if he can breathe, but heâs holding you so tightly to him and eating you out with such fucking aggression that you donât even think he cares. He drives you crazyâ switching between lapping at your core and fucking you with his mouth, never seeming to decide on a way he wants to taste you, and all it does is bring you to your peak and yank you back just as youâre about to fall.
He knows what heâs doing, too. He loves hearing it in your voiceâ when you pant all brokenly, when you beg him to give you something, anything, when you offer whatever he asks as long as he just lets you cum. You know what he wants to hear, and at this point, with his tongue inside of you, youâd give him whatever. Whatever he asked for.
âJoelâ p-please. I canâtâŠâ You whine as he begins to slow down again, and you can feel that ember of orgasm still alight, growing dimmer and dimmer as he pulls away. âJoel! Joel, fucking hellâ please!â
âShh, baby. Itâs okayâ youâre so fucking gorgeous like this.â He soothes, his hands going soft as they knead at your hips. âYou taste too good, sweet thing. Got me distracted. You just want to cum for me, donât you?â
âP-pleaseâŠâ Itâs fucking pathetic, and he laughs, but this time itâs not as mocking.
âGood girl. Such a good girl, arenât you?â Incoherent babbles fill the small room in your voice as he returns his mouth to you, but not before he spits into your pussy, and lets you hear just how wet you are for him and only him.
When he flattens his tongue and lets you ride his face, you know he wonât stop this time. Heâs all encouragementâ hands pushing your hips to grind on him, focusing his mouth on the parts he knows make you cum quick and easy when itâs him, and heâs groaning so much you think heâs enjoying this just as much as you are.
Just as you think youâre going to cum, one of his hands disappear. You only feel it because it gives you just enough room to sink lower and practically trap Joel under your legs. You look over your shoulder and see him fist his cock in his hand, and thatâs what pushes you over.
You let the pleasure wash over you, any concern about your weight on top of his face melting away as an intense heat strokes up and down your entire body, making your toes curl. Itâs too intense to stay upright, your chest falling forward into the headboard, and Joel mutters something but youâre too blissed out to hear it.
Your hands begin to hurt with how hard your gripping the split wood, and when you let go you nearly collapse over him. Thankfully, Joel has shuffled up slightly so his head is on the pillows, so as your legs give out you land more towards you chest. He catches you easily and helps you lay back down, your legs completely numb as he tangles you back into him and the sheets.
His face nuzzles yours, nose against your cheek as he peppers kisses in its wake. When you turn to kiss him, you can taste yourself on his tongue, and your body shudders again, the aftershocks of one of the most intense orgasms youâve ever had still racketing your limp body.
When you gain back all your consciousness, you can feel how hard Joelâs breathing is as he ticks you back against him, similar to how you started the night. At first, you think you must have suffocated him, but when he pushes his leg between your thighs, you feel the absence of boxers, and then you realise.
âJoel, did youââ
âShh.â He mumbles into your hair and kisses the top of your head, and you canât help but feel warm all over again. You shut your eyes, picturing the image you have of his hand slipping under his boxers, jacking off to the sight and feeling of giving you head. âSleep, baby. Long ride home tomorrow.â
You hum in agreement, but every time you close your eyes, itâs all you can see. Biting your lip, you slip your arm over his waist, tugging him closer.
When you feel him harden against your stomach, you donât think either of you will be sleeping much tonight.
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller smut#joel miller fluff#joel miller fic#pedro pascal#the last of us
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What made both her sacrifice for her team matesâ happiness in Pocket Monsters (2019)/Pokemon Journeys episode 95 and the fact that she thought this would be her end more poignant for me is that being completely alone is what Musashi hates the most. She lost her (single) mother as a child and was never adopted, going from foster home to foster home... ;_;
After many failures (like being unable to graduate from a school meant to train literal Pokemon Nurses, because she couldnât do what Chansey do, despite studying hard and being adept at skills like bandagingâŠ) and having her heart broken and being disappointed (she let a boy she loved go alone so she can pursue idol dreams with some friends, who all made it⊠without her, so she lost a possible love for an impossible dream)âŠ
She couldnât bond with her partners and left them to be injured, just to save herself, during her training days at Team Rocket. Sheâd become selfish and self-preserving⊠in the Japanese version, the others called her âshinigami Musashiâ according to Yamato (Cassidy), likening her to a reaper of souls⊠but James refused to run away, sick of living a life where he ran away from all his problems. Heâd sacrifice himself for her and Meowthâs safety, getting badly injured and nearly missing their final exam, hospitalized. The first time they uttered the beginning of their motto was when she believed she was all alone again, much like in this scene⊠the Rockets in the Japanese version repeat the last thing someone else says as if to answer a question (the ânanda kanda to kikare taraâ = âif you ask us about this or thatâ is mostly filler that could be substituted with anything else.)
Musashi (Jessie): (dejectedly, as she walks away alone as the final exam begins, even being questioned by Nyasu/Meowth where sheâs going): Is this all that there isâŠ?
Kojiro (James): (answering while leaning posed against a tree, covered in bandages, but they were only wrapped over his clothes so he could whip them off dramatically) If you ask us 'if this is all that there is,' our answer will be the universeâs compassion!
Sheâs so moved, she turns away to wipe her tears. âA team mate who wonât run awayâŠâ
I think thatâs the first time they ever see her cry.
Jessie desperately wants family, belonging, thatâs why she falls in love so quickly, she wants a family more than anythingâJames had everything material growing up, but not love⊠Musashi had near to nothing material growing up, BUT she had her motherâs love⊠until she lost her very, very early. They contrast each other! Theyâre soul mates, eternal partners, whether you ship them or not. Meowth, too, was orphaned as a kitten, never even named, and an outcast his whole life. He's also always falling in love easily, seeking a home... the trio should never be separated, they are each otherâs sought-for home.
I think the falling snow in this scene, where she runs off in tears, after wearing a brave smile and telling James itâs okay to stay with Cassidy, is a very deliberate choice, as Jessie loves snow. One of her few happy memories of her depressing childhood is being made treats made of snow to eat. She unknowingly lost her mother in the snowy Andes mountains, seeking Mew, put into foster care, while Miyamoto tried to make money to give her a better life... glittering snow and sparkling tearsâŠ
For Meowth too, she lets him go. She just wants everyone to have their chance at love.
So, her believing sheâll end up dying alone, as sheâs always feared, Musashi here laments her luck, but also has a beautiful little dream of her friends saving her.
Once again, similarly to the break-up episode of DP, she was the one who calmly and gently encouraged James to pursue a possible love. She also broke Dustoxâs pokeball, in tears, not wanting her to make the same mistake she did, giving up on an attainable love for an unattainable goal (and, indeed, Jessie did not win the Grand Festival, despite her skill at Pokemon Contests⊠she made the right decision for Dustoxâs happiness.)
Jessie loves her friends. Sure, sheâs caustic, rude, temperamental, bitter, and self-absorbed, but she prioritizes love and their happiness. She doesnât want them to be alone and abandoned the way she felt as a kid. She loves them so much so, sheâs satisfied to die alone and suffer her worst fear if it meant they get to be happy. Thatâs self-sacrifice.
She doesnât resent them one bit, saying itâs a nice dream when she thinks sheâs imagined them saving her life⊠she thought it was her mind comforting her before her death, accepting her fate, rather than realizing itâs effectively a premonition of what will be reality⊠and when she realizes?! She initially reproaches them, looking mad, because she thought they abandoned their happiness for her! But no, things didnât work out⊠this is where theyâre meant to be: by each otherâs side.
James also knows how much marriage means to her, even though heâs so traumatized by it, the word âfianceâ triggers literal flashbacks for him and he climbed up a tree to get away from a teenaged girl who called him that. Yet, in XY episode 63, where she fell for Dr. White...
Kojiro: (with head down, eyes shadowed) If Musashi (Jessie) wants to pursue her happiness as a woman, shouldn't we give her our blessing?
Nyasu also had his misfortunes in love... they sympathize and empathize.
"Let's show her we're men and leave without saying anything..."
As Kojiro runs away, he sheds tears, wishing her happiness and bidding her farewell, silently. The scenes in these two episodes are clear parallels.
But in the end (including the final episodes, as rushed as that plotline was although I still loved Wobbuffet acting exactly like a troubled child of parents going through a messy divorce), theyâll always realize their happiness is by each otherâs side as a trio.
"Sometimes you get good pulls, sometimes you get bad ones. Sometimes they're good, even if you think they're bad. Sometimes they're bad, even if you think they're good."
#Team Rocket Jessie#PokeAni#Team Rocket James#Pokemon Journeys#Rocketshipping#Mezase Pokemon Master#Side Stories#hoso specials#Pokemon Chronicles#analysis#before Shootie I was a Rocket and especially Musashi fan#KojiMusa#is what I watched for#image heavy#long post#gif#popular#Team Rocket#Kojiro#James#Musashi#Jessie#Pokemon#character analysis#mine
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can you open up the door?
summary: you guys hated each other, so why does your heart feel broken when you see him with another girl?
pairing: jude bellingham x reader
a/n: i feel like i'm running out of ideas to write, please request anything! i absolutely love writing for jude and would love to hear what you wanna see/read :) anywho, enjoy my loves!
jude felt like he was on a high. winning the final cup with real madrid had been a dream come true. now, he gets to go home and relax before playing in the euro 2024 competition. although, going home also meant seeing the one person he dislikes. you and jude had a long history of hating/disliking each other. it was hard because of how much time you guys spend together, being that you not only shared the same friend group but the same best friend as well.
"you know jude is coming home, right?" trent says to you, while you rolled your eyes.
"yes yes, i know already. i promise to be on my best behavior," you attempted to give him your best smile. it only made the boy laugh at how you tried to hide your annoyance.
"why don't you guys like each other again? i feel like the two of you would be perfect together. a proper power couple if you ask me."
"never say that again. i wouldn't be caught-" before you could even finish your thought, jude comes through trent's door.
"daddy's home," you groaned at jude's crude language. upon hearing the groan, jude locks eyes with you. have you always been this pretty? somehow prettier than the last time he saw you. jude rids the thought out of his head and turns his attention to trent. they shared a hug before jude takes his seat right across from you on the other couch.
"you didn't tell me that you invited the yapper."
"and he didn't tell that the dickhead was coming. so i guess we're in the same boat," you crossed your arms to your chest and glared at jude.
"guys can we not start?"
"he literally started it first! i was here way before he came in and interrupted things."
"well guess who was in trent's life first? oh right, it was me. you're just some outsider that thinks she fits in but you don't."
you weren't sure why that hurt your feelings as much as it did. maybe because deep down, you felt like he was right. you moved from america to england for college as an exchange student and landed a job working for england's football team as their photographer. it's where you met trent and jude.
"you're such an asshole jude," you tried to ignore the stinging in your chest, as you packed up your stuff and getting ready walk to your apartment.
Jude began to feel guilty for obviously hurting your feelings. he doesn't know why he says what he says. it just comes out but he thinks that this time it was too far. trent had told him about how you felt a bit lonely sometimes being that you weren't from england, and here he had used it against you.
"dude," trent looks to jude with disappointment, as the door slams closed behind you.
"i know, i'm sorry. i don't know why i said it."
"why don't you guys get along?"
"i'm not even sure anymore. we just continue to hurt one another."
-
it's been weeks since you had last spoken to jude or trent. avoiding the both of them like the plague, pretending that you won't be leaving with them to germany in exactly two days. today, jobe had texted you that he was throwing a going away party for the three of you. you tried desperately tried to get out of going but the younger boy wasn't having it.
so you went, unfortunately. dressing in a black mini dress with the black red bottoms you saved up to purchase for graduation. finishing the look off with a red handbag. the loud music from the club greeted you, while you walked in.
"you made it!" jobe yells over the music, after seeing you walk in. you smiled and gave him a hug. it never made sense to you that jude's brother was nicer to you than he was.
"did i actually have a choice?"
"no."
"exactly," the two of you burst out into laughter, which caught jude's ears. he won't admit it to anyone but he knew your laugh like the back of his hand. it was one of things he liked about you.
"are you excited to leave for germany?"
"honestly, yes and no."
"why the no?" jobe leaned in closer to whisper, "anything to do with my brother?"
"no."
"i know when you're lying. it definitely has something to do with jude! why don't you guys just kiss and make up," you gasp at jobe and slapped his shoulder.
"news flash, we don't like each other. plus, i would never kiss him nor date him," you replied, causing the younger boy to roll his eyes.
jude overhead everything. would it really be so bad if you were to date him? he wasn't sure why that left a sour note in body but he was determined to not let it bother him. instead, deciding to occupy his time with the first pretty girl he saw. just to further deny those hidden feelings. to get over someone, might as well get under someone new.
-
"you've been avoiding me," you looked to find trent taking the seat next to you on the couch.
"i've simply been busy."
"doing what? moping?"
"hey, i don't mope."
"so what are you doing right now?"
"people watching." trent followed your line of vision, finding that you were looking at jude engaged in a conversation with a pretty girl. you watched as he moved closer to her, causing her to giggle and place a hand on his arm.
"you have feelings for jude." you quickly shake your head in defense.
"no i don't."
"stop lying to yourself. you guys are both attracted to each other but don't know how to act on it. you guys spent at least two years pretending to hate one another, why?"
"i don't know."
"but you do. just tell me why. i'm your best friend." somehow, your heartbeat felt as if it were louder than the music. you do remember why you originally started to dislike him but you've never said anything.
"it's because i overheard a conversation between the two of you. we were already friends but it was the day you were going to introduce me to jude. i heard him say 'she will never be on my level or in my league'." you felt your eyes water as you brought up the same awful feelings you felt back then.
"y/n that's not what he meant. you didn't hear the rest of conversation."
"whatever, i don't care." you pick up your handbag and stand to leave. the saltiness of the tears falling onto your cheeks, no matter how hard you tried to hide it. trent stands up with you, trying to offer some sort of comfort that you didn't want. it was embarrassing enough to cry over someone that wouldn't even give you a second thought.
"i think i'm going to go home."
"y/n."
"i'm fine trent. please let me go," you whisper, not being able to look up from your heels. he nods at you and you take that cue to leave. rushing out of the loud atmosphere to the quiet outside air. jude's eyes follow your figure as you rushed out. immediately, he ignores the girl he was flirting with to follow you outside. you notice a tug on your arm, turning around you see the last person you wanna see.
"jude, i'm not in the mood."
"what's wrong?"
"why would i tell you? go flirt with the girl you were just with."
"well something is wrong with you and i want to make sure you're okay."
"why do you even care? i'm just an outsider trying desperately to fit in, right?" you watched as jude's mouth opens and closes, with furrowed brows, you scoffed.
"exactly. goodnight jude," you took one more look at him before getting into your uber that happened to show up at the right time.
jude walks back into the club with an angry expression on his face. he was more mad at himself rather than anyone in specific. he walks to trent, who was sitting in the same spot, nursing the same drink.
"please tell me what happened. i knew she was okay and then i seen her walk out."
"i totally knew it. you guys have feelings for each other!"
"trent."
"she was looking at you with the girl at the bar and finally told me why you guys don't like each other. turns out, it was complete miscommunication. y/n overheard you say 'she'll never be on my level or in my league'. i tried telling her that you didn't mean it like that but she didn't want to hear it."
the realization dawned on Jude as he thought back to that day. trent showed him one picture and he swore that he could have fallen in love right there. you had mixed his words up to rejection rather than realizing he meant that you were too good for him. maybe he could have worded it differently. you guys certainly wouldn't be in this mess now. would you guys be wrapped up in the same bed sheets whispering to each other? would you be at his football matches in madrid? would you visit him and let him show you around? a whole year he's played on the team and a whole year you could have already been his.
-
you were relaxed in your bed, having criminal minds in the background. the only sort of comfort you could find. stupid feelings and stupid jude. you wanted the floor to swallow you whole and then maybe you wouldn't have to deal with this.
a knock on the door draws your attention. who would be knocking at two o'clock in the morning? you get up from your bed, walking into the living room towards the door. you opened the door, finding Jude standing there with a small smile.
"what do you want?"
"to talk."
"no," you closed the door before the boy could say anything else. jude takes this sign to keep knocking, instead of just leaving.
"open the door. please, just hear me out and I'll leave you alone afterwards." you leaned your head on the door debating on letting him in.
"open up the door. i'm not leaving until you do." you finally open the door after two minutes, afraid that the knocking was going to bother your apartment neighbors. you pulled him inside and closed the door once again.
"what do you-"
"you have it all wrong. what you overheard was wrong. i meant that you looked like you were too good for me. that i didn't even deserve to try and win you over. how could you ever think differently? you are the prettiest girl i've ever known-"
"jude."
"i was only rude to you because that's what you did to me when we first met. there are so many things i wish i did differently. i could be the one kissing your tears away and not causing them. you're not an outsider, far from it actually-"
"jude!" you finally got the boys attention, locking eyes with him. you couldn't believe that your feelings were returned. all the time that was wasted. without a second thought, you pulled his shirt collar and kissed him. your lips molded together perfectly. a sudden eagerness that made the kiss more intense. jude's hand slipping under your pajama top, to touch your bare skin trying feel closer to you. you pulled away first, feeling overwhelmed with emotions.
"i'm so sorry sweetheart. i didn't mean of it." jude swipes away the tears that fell from your eyes.
"i'm sorry too."
"you have nothing to apologize for. it's my fault."
"it takes two to tango jude. i've said some pretty awful stuff too and i'm sorry."
"where do we go from here? what do you truly want y/n? if you want to pretend this never happened, i'll comply." his eyes trailing your face for some sort of sign.
"i just want you."
"you have me baby. you always have," jude whispers, before connecting your lips together once more.
#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham#jude bellingham fluff#jude bellingham one shot#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham angst
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No bc Satoru has this whole hallucination-dream-limbo sequence where heâs talking to Suguru about how he wanted to give Sukuna his all to get through to him and show him how he understood his loneliness only to have Suguru go ââŠyouâre making me jealous.â
As an author, what Gege did here is genius because that is such a loaded statement to make in response to Satoru processing his fight with Sukuna. It can mean so many different things and we, the audience, are free to interpret exactly how Suguru meant it.
On one hand, you can say he said he was jealous because he wanted to be the one Satoru fought with all his might. He wanted to be as strong as Satoru, to match him in prowess, and hearing that Sukuna was the one to do it instead made him jealous.
On the other hand, you can say that he said he was jealous because Satoru recognized that Sukuna was lonely and wanted to get through to him, something that he was too late to recognize in Suguru when he was descending into madness, and that in turn made Suguru jealous because it was as if Satoru was saying âI recognized the loneliness in him and wanted to do something about itâ when he failed to do that same thing with Suguru.
I personally interpret it the second way more (the first one is very valid, but I just see things the second way), because of the next lines.
He made Suguru cry. While laughing. Once again, holy shit is that such a loaded scene. What did Suguruâs tears mean? We have never seen him cry before. Not when Riko died, not at any point when he was losing his mind, not even when he died by Satoruâs hand. So why, when Satoru said he wished Suguru was there to wish him luck before he fought, did he finally get brought to such strong emotion that he cried?
Was it because he was happy to hear that Satoru still thought of him, even in his final moments?
Was it because after all these years, Satoru never thought ill of him and pictured him there beside him, and he was relieved?
Was it because he regretted making the choices he did that led to him not being there by Satoruâs side?
Or, in a very indirect way, was it an admission of love from Satoru that made Suguru happy?
I wonder that, because of these panels from Chapter 238:
Kashimo asked Sukuna, âif youâre so satisfied being alone, why did you refuse to die and turn yourself into cursed fingers?â
Sukunaâs response is, âLove is worthless. Iâve never needed anyone to satisfy me.â
Which is a directly opposing statement to the one that Satoru had just made to Suguru.
Sukuna: I only have to worry about myself and I get to do as I please. I am satisfied by myself. I donât need love.
Satoru: I worried about everyone else my entire life and I was controlled by the society. I was not satisfied, but I would have been if you had been there with me, Suguru.
That. Is. Powerful. Those panels imply that love is what made Satoru weak. He did not feel complete because he didnât have Suguru. He had all of the power in the world, he had status, he had students that depended on him, other friends even, and he still was not satisfied because Suguru wasnât there.
Sukuna on the other hand recognized how detrimental love was because of what it did to people, how it made them weak, and he decided he didnât need it.
Those panels were such an indirect-direct conversation between Satoru and Suguru.
Essentially, they were saying:
Suguru: You fought with all of your might and I wish that you recognized my loneliness so that I could have been there with you
Satoru: I was at the peak of my power and I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I was allowed to go all-out to fight yet I just wanted you to be there with me
Itâs just. Ugh. Theyâre saying they want each other in the most infuriatingly roundabout way.
#ive been wanting to talk abt this for a minute#just. the language.#satisfaction relative to love#itâs all related#satoru was not satisfied because he didnt have the person he loved#sukuna has abandoned all need for satisfaction and love because they are weaknesses#satosugu#jjk meta#satosugu meta#stsg#sgst#sugusato#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#geto suguru#suguru geto#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk spoilers
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